#i spent like 12 hours in the sims 3 to make this house the entire thing is furnished

[applekitty]

preview bg shots of a game im working on.. it is quite yaoitastic

[mysmegrace]

Heeeey girl.

So I was wondering if I could request an MC (she/her) that has major art-block...... I may or may not have major art block rn and I have no idea what to do about it lol. I keep flipping through old sketchbooks looking for a spark of creativity. Or I end up walking around my house and random places outdoors looking for inspiration lmaoo. (I feel like a Sim aimlessly wandering.)

I dont really have a preference as to what mysme boy you want to write for. Just whoever you feel fits this best!

You are the best!! I love your work!!

hello~ of course! that's relatable lol, although it's more so writers block in my case. it loves to kick my ass every once in a while. i felt like zen would fit this request more, just because of the creative aspect of his career and the overall encouragement he usually gives the mc. thank you so much, i really appreciate it and right back at ya <3

Zen with an MC who has Major Art Block

---

it had been the same routine for the past few weeks.

your days consisted of sitting for hours in various locations trying to find some spark of creativity to get your art done.

and it seemed like no matter what you did, things wouldn’t change.

it was on your mind 24/7, even thinking about it during outings with zen.

you two would walk around the city, visit public gardens, sightsee in the countryside.

but all to no avail.

you couldn’t help but kick yourself down constantly, wondering why you were lacking inspiration.

had it been something you did before? or perhaps you’re becoming brunt out?

the possibilities were endless, but they all didn’t feel accurate.

you loved making art your entire life.

it had been your dream for ages.

so why was this happening?

your inner frustration was coming to a visible point, as zen noticed and questioned you about it one day.

he had taken you out to the place he always went whenever he was struggling.

the place in the mountains many people neglected to visit.

such a shame really, as the area was blessed with comfort and positivity.

he figured to take you here after taking a notice of your feelings since the morning.

leading him to quickly change that day’s plan from the statues downtown to his safe space.

it wasn’t until you two arrived to the destination that he finally questioned you about it.

ever so sweetly, as to not discomfort you, said “are you okay? i can tell something’s bothering you”.

you were too caught up in your own mind and disapointment to realize that your emotions started to reflect in your expressions.

hence why his question caught you off guard.

the last thing you wanted to do right now was worry him, yet clearly it was already too late.

with your silence continuing, he added onto his previous questions.

“you know you can talk to me, i hate seeing you in distress”.

there was no use in lying and saying you were okay, you were already too far gone for that.

taking a breath, you respond saying “i can’t find any inspiration for my art”.

quickly looking up to meet his eyes, hoping to see a sign of approval, you continue “it’s.. so exhausting and frustrating to be so lost when trying to pursue my passion”.

you examined zen’s expressions as he looked down from the fence the two of you were standing at, his face radiating with sympathy.

looking up to meet you with a smile, he said “i understand. i’ve reached many points like that in my career so far, but”.

he takes a breath to straighten his shirt, continuing “it all get’s better soon.”

realizing that the words he had just spoken wouldn’t actually impact you, he rushes to rephrase his sentence.

“i mean, it’s easier than it sounds. but there’s inspiration in everything. in your old artwork, in the words we speak, in societal beliefs, in our hearts deepest desires, this list goes on”.

he got you thinking, but he hadn’t finished yet.

you weren’t paying much attention at this point if you were honest.

processing his words took up most of your brain power in the moment.

making a mental note of following his advice for later, you decided to redirect your attention back to him for a quick second instead of letting his words become background noise.

you heard “but i’ll always be there to help you, please remember that. i want you to become successful in your dreams. i know you have the inspiration in you”.

you were at a lost for words.

quite frankly, part of you wanted to break down then and there.

you had been so overwhelmingly stressed and exhausted for so long and to finally hear some good advice made you feel as if god had come to save you.

as if to thank him for his efforts, you embraced him, looking down over the city as the birds passed by in several forms.

yet during all of this, you managed to muster out a “thank you”.

and while you couldn’t see it, you could feel a smile creeping up on his face when the movements transferred from his face to your cheek.

you didn’t know how much time passed, you could only assume it had been an hour or so.

although there was little conversation being made from time to time, the majority was spent basking in each others bliss.

although your art block wasn’t solved immediately, it was enough for you to have regained your hope.

motivating you to push forward.

---

22:30 AST - 08/12/21

[lovemesomesurveys]

The last time you were in the fridge, what were you looking for? Shredded cheese.

Do you like clowns? Just Pennywise.

Have you answered all of these questions honestly so far? Uh, we were just two questions in and they were simple questions, no need to lie about what I got out of my fridge and whether I like clowns lol.

What's the third text in your inbox? Doesn’t work that way.

Are you listening to anything at the moment? An ASMR video.

Do you twitch when your falling asleep? >> Yeah, sometimes. Or I have that sudden falling feeling and jerk awake. <<< Ugh, same. I hate that.

Are your dishes in the dishwasher clean or dirty? Clean.

Are you at home or with friends more often? I’m always at home, even before the quarantine/lockdown stuff began. For the past few years, actually. 

When is the last time you were on a bicycle? Never.

What have you eaten today? So far just ramen.

Would you date someone 15 years older than you? I don’t think so.

Do you own a strapless bra? Yeah.

Does the person you like know it? I don’t like anyone in that way.

Did anything brighten up your day today? It’s only 5 in the morning, not a whole lot as happening. I don’t see much happening later on either, though.

How are you feeling at this exact moment? Tired.

Are you someone who worries too often? Yepppp.

If you could date somebody who would it be? No one right now.

Do you ever wonder how other people see you? Sometimes, but it scares me. I’d really rather not know.

What is one good thing you're known for? I don’t know.

How about one bad thing? I don’t know.

Are you taller than most? >> Most children, yeah. LOL <<< Ha, same. 

When was the last time you sang an ENTIRE song? It’s been a few days since I’ve listened to music.

Are you the type of person who likes to be out or home? I like to be at home, which like I said is where I spend all my time.

What time do you normally go to bed? Between 7 and 8AM. :X

What is one thing that is currently bothering you? The usual things.

What did you do today? So far just ate ramen, watched some YouTube videos, went on Tumblr, did surveys, played some Animal Crossing, and listened to ASMR videos.

Do you consider yourself to be attractive? Nope.

What was the last thing that you drank? Starbucks Doubleshot energy drink.

Is anything annoying you now? Yes.

Has anyone ever said i love you to you and not meant it? I’m sure. Some people throw those words around too easily.

Do you regret going out with the last person you did? No.

Do you realize it when you curse? Yeah. I don’t curse often, so when I do it really stands out.

When was the last time you showered? Yesterday.

Who did you last talk to in person? My brother.

Do you ever have days where you just don't do anything? I don’t do much day to day, but yes there’s days where I’m really having a hard time or don’t feel and I don’t feel up to doing anything besides lie down, sleep, and stare at the TV.

Have you ever been extremely tired but refused to go to sleep? Yes. I do that often for some reason.

What is your favorite episode of True Life, if you have one at all? I’ve seen some episodes of that here and there, but I can’t think of any particular episode at the moment. I know there’s news episodes coming out about people’s experience in quarantine.

Have you ever experienced something paranormal? No.

What's the longest amount of time you've been stuck in traffic? A couple hours. I don’t even like spending a few minutes being stuck in bumper to bumper traffic.

Best field trip experience? I loved all the field trips as a kid.

Have you ever been to New York City? No, but I’ve always wanted to go.

If so, is it all its cracked up to be?

What is the most amount of money you've spent on a meal before? Hmm. Probably like $50. It was a nice, pricey restaurant. 

What museums have you visited, if any? Several.

Have you ever had a group project and one of your partners bailed on you? Yes. I hated group projects, they added way more stress. 

What's your worst traveling experience? The drive to and from Idaho to California back in 2010. We went to Idaho to see my grandpa who was very sick and his wife told us he didn’t have much time left, so my parents, brother, and I made the 12+ drive there. We left at night and it was during the wintertime, so we drove through snowy, dangerous conditions, something we’re not used to because it doesn’t snow where we live. The trip back home was worse because we were all very emotional and tired and our patience was real thin. It was a rough trip back home. At one point during the night we had to find a hotel because the roads were too slippery and dangerous to drive on from the snow and because a lot of people had to do the same, it was hard finding somewhere. We fortunately got a one bed room and made it work, with some of us sleeping on the floor. Something that I don’t want to get into happened that night that made me extremely angry and upset to the point I was literally shaking and that is not normal for me. 

Sims 1, 2, or 3? Why? Sims 3 out of those options, but Sims 4 over all of ‘em.

Have you ever dealt with noisy neighbors or roommates? How did that go? Yeah, we’ve had a few noisy neighbors over the years. The current neighbors we have we had an issue with their dogs barking excessively. They left them outside all day and they just barked all the time. We eventually had to say something and thankfully we got things sorted out. 

Who was (or is) the teacher that gave you the hardest time in school? I had 2 horrible math teachers in community college, but otherwise I never had any issues with my teachers.

Best muffin you've ever had? I love banana muffins (no nut), lemon poppyseed, and blueberry muffins. Have you ever taken a woodshop class? For an elective in middle school.

If so, was it required? No, it was an elective. <<<

How much time do you spend on Facebook, if you have one? I go on there for a few minutes at at a time a few times a day. 

What area of math are you best at? Worst? I was always horrible at math.

How do you feel when you meet someone with the same music taste as you? It’s cool to bond over shared interests. @gic-ga and I just recently obsessed over Linkin Park together haha.

What is the strangest thing you've ever seen outside of your house? A freakin’ bat flying around one night. That’s most definitely not a common sighting here. I had never seen or heard of any such sighting prior to that. It was crazy.

Do you believe in luck? Why or why not? No.

How often do you "half-ass" things (put little effort in)? These past few years I haven’t put much ass at all into things. :/

Do you ever feel self-conscious when you eat around other people? Yes.

Has a teacher ever made you hate yourself/your work? Those 2 awful math professors I mentioned before made me feel even worse about not understanding the material.

How reliable is your internet connection? Very. There’s very rarely an issue.

Have you ever missed a meeting/event that was required/necessary? No.

What's something that makes you incredibly nervous? Uh, a lot of things. That’s how I am.

What's the latest you've ever stayed up to finish homework/a project? Many late nights or early mornings in college.

If you don't have glasses, how would you feel if you had to get them?

If you do have glasses, how would you feel if you didn't need them anymore? I honestly like my glasses. I’ve had to wear them since I was 9, they’re apart of me. I look and feel weird without ‘em.

How many vegetarians do you know? I’m not sure. 

Have you ever considered going to art school? No. I have no artistic talents or abilities. I never had the interest in trying just a class either, like with a drawing class or something, so definitely not an art school, a school devoted to the arts.

Is there anyone in your life who consistently angers you? Myself.

How quickly can you write an essay? For me I struggled with getting started, but once I did I’d get in my groove.

Have you ever had problems falling asleep in class? No.

Have you ever been on the barrier or front row at a concert? No. I always get the nosebleeds seats cause that’s where the handicap seating tends to be. They’re cheaper up there; though, so hey.

If you have a job, who is your least favorite coworker/manager?

Favorite episode of Spongebob? I don’t have a favorite. I’ve seen episodes cause my younger brother and cousins watched it all the time, but I was never really into it myself.

Do you have any silly/odd emotional connections to anything/anyone? To inanimate objects cause of memories attached to them. Like, I have a hard time getting rid of anything.

Are your parents supportive of you? Yes.

How often do you take the train to go places? Never.

Do you play with your phone in awkward situations? Ha, yeah.

[fireloom]

50 Questions You’ve Never Been Asked

I was tagged by @thatsjustsocliche

1. What is the colour of your hairbrush? There’s like 7 hairbrushes in my house, so multicoloured.

2. Name a food you never eat? Asparagus. If you ever give me that wiggly green thing I will smack you.

3. Are you typically too warm or too cold? I swing from being too hot to too cold, there s no inbetween

4. What were you doing 45 minutes ago? Attempting to animate! (it didn’t work out)

5. What is your favourite candy bar? Twix

6. Have you ever been to a professional sports event? Does my own Gymnastics championships’ count?

7. What is the last thing you said out loud?  ”How the fuck am I suppose to remember that?!” That's it, that’s what I just said when I read this.

8. What is your favourite ice cream? Mint choc chip, love that shit

9. What was the last thing you had to drink? Coffee. The answer will always be coffee

10. Do you like your wallet? I guess? It holds my money.

11. What was the last thing you ate? Cookies dipped in coffee

12. Did you buy any new clothes last weekend? I haven't brought clothes in months (even before the quarantine)

13. The last sporting event you watched? Like on tv? The Australian Open (tennis).

14. What is your favourite flavour of popcorn? Caramel

15. Who is the last person you sent a text message to? An actual sms text message? My ex, cause I had a sim card back then.

16. Ever go camping? I was born in the forest, so I basically camped my entire childhood. I am a wood nymph.

17. Do you take vitamins? When I remember (hardly ever)

18. Do you go to church every Sunday? Buddy, I’ve been inside a church maybe, MAYBE twice in my entire life.

19. Do you have a tan? Right now, no.

20. Do you prefer Chinese food or pizza? DON’T MAKE ME CHOOSE

21. Do you drink your soda with a straw? Who buys straws?

22. What colour socks do you usually wear? Mismatched and with a few holes.

23. Do you ever drive above the speed limit? I don’t have a license but when I was illegally driving across the country I was overtaking roadtrains at 150Kmh. So, yeah, a little.

24. What terrifies you? People throwing balls at me. I involuntarily shriek like a child whenever a ball comes near me.

25. Look to your left, what do you see? My tv.

26. What chore do you hate? Washing dishes. I like washing dishes but it fucks up my back like nothing else, and I get flashbacks to an overcrowded cafe, me in the backroom, frantically washing spoons cause we done run out, right before I’m called out to the house by a bell like a doggo just so I can bring more dirty dishes back to the overfull sink and make small talk with vegans. Good times.

27. What do you think of when you hear an Australian accent? Oh fuck me, another one

28. hat’s your favourite soda?  Creaming soda

29. Do you go in a fast food place or just hit the drive-thru? Dude, I get my groceries delivered ain’t no way I’m going outside for drive-through.

30. Who’s the last person you talked to? My mummy

31. Favourite cut of beef? Ahhh…. the beef cut?

32. Last song you listened to? Meg Myers - Desire (Hucci Remix)

33. Last book you read? Good Omens by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett.

34. Favourite day of the week? Tomorrow.

35. Can you say the alphabet backwards? I guess?

36. How do you like your coffee? Usually with sugar and milk, mocha for a treat.

37. Favourite pair of shoes? My Doc Martins 

38. The time you normally go to bed? These days? 5-6am.

39. The time you normally get up? 12pm

40. What do you prefer, sunrise or sunsets? Sunset, cause I’m never awake for sunrises.

41. How many blankets on your bed? One and even that’s too much.

42. Describe your kitchen plates: Not many, boring.

43. Do you have a favourite alcoholic beverage? I Vodka shots, chased by more vodka

44. Do you play cards? I love cards

45. What colour is your car?   Don’t have a car

46. Can you change a tire? Yeah if you gave me enough time.

47. Your favourite province? Idfk XD

48. Favourite job you’ve ever had? My first job. I worked manning the counter at a hippy-dippy 60’s/ 70’s memorabilia shop. My boss was this silver haired hippy drug dealer. I was high everyday, gave the wrong change more often than not, and spent my working hours picking aesthetic music, drawing, and pretending to be in a movie. I was paid in weed. Best job ever.

49. How did you get your biggest scar? Dog walking.

50. What did you do today that made someone else happy? Hanging with my bud online.

[murfeelee]

♡ Simblr Questions ♡

I saw these questions reblogged here, and I’m killing time again, so....

1) Which is your favorite Sims Expansion?

TS1: Makin Magic | TS2: Apartment Life & Night Life | TS3: Supernatural

2) How long have you been playing sims?

19 effing years. *pours another shot of Pepsi*

3) Do you have any favorite simblrs?

One of the very first simblrs I ever followed was Kosmokhaos. They’ve been wowing me since their days at Cstyles, and I’ve been in love with their style & creativity. So. Yeah.

4) How would you describe your gameplay?

Derivative and sporadic. I'm almost always inspired by fandoms -- shows I watch, other games I play, and things I’ve read. I bounce around regularly, and my gameplay reflects that -- one week I’m doing this, and the next week I’m doing that. I might not return to something for months or even years. Who knows. Welcome to my crazy.

5) What made you want to create a simblr?

I was lurking Momosims’ blog for CC, and TSR was getting on my nerves. So I killed 2 birds with 1 stone -- I was able to follow Momo, and post my CC conversions without needing to follow some other site’s rules and whatnot.

6) What is your favorite Sim age?

Young adult, of course. The Sims is just not optimized for the younger & older ages, despite there being an entire expansion pack dedicated to them. It’s ridiculous.

7) Do you use cheats when you play Sims?

8) What is your favorite thing about the Sims?

I was drawn to The Sims 1 because I love interior decorating, and when I was younger I was obsessed with architecture & design. My favorite part of simming is building lots. I only create CC cuz I’m often frustrated by the lack of objects I want to see in my sims’ homes. And I effing HATE making CC.

9) What is your least favorite thing about the Sims?

I'm strongly influenced by fanciful genres, so I am most interested in things from different time periods, cultures, religions, etc. And that’s like the least represented theme in the community. I wish more simmers would get into fanciful gameplay, particularly more content creators. The more simmers who play that way, the more we can influence EA to stop making boring AF packs about the same ole boring generic predictable stuff.

10) What expansion pack are you hoping for next?

The first TS4 EP to even marginally interest me was Seasons, cuz they added more holiday stuff than TS3 did. And they had that Day of the Dead patch, which was COOL. I hope they’ll keep including more holidays and festivals like that - give the Sims some multiculturalism, EA, dang. This franchise is so Westerncentic Californiacentric it makes me wanna puke.

City Living is a step in the right direction - I love the boho Asian-ish thing they added -- too bad it was in a weak AF half-baked EP where the “city” was just distant terrain. It’s mess like that that makes me nervous to even ask for a more fanciful EP like Medieval times or Steampunk, cuz the game engine's so dang limited. There's no horses, cars, or any transportation -- so how can we have knights? Or a live-in dirigible? Or dragon riders? How can we have mermaids or Pirates of the Caribbean or Chinese junk ships when sims can’t even swim in the frikkin ocean? Expand on THAT, EA. Ugh!

11) Do you like to play the Sims in the morning or at night?

Whenever I have free time.

12) Do you have a aesthetic for your Sims?

It depends on the gameplay. I TRY not to make my sims look too pudding, but I don't use reshade and HQ mods and any of that fanciness, so.... :\

13) What are your favorite Sim names?

14) What is your favorite Sim Career?

The Ghost Hunter from AMB, and the Magician from SHT.

15) What is your favorite Sim World?

Shang Simla, as always~!

It’s just so effing gorgeous -- the misty mountains and the DRAGON cave and the colors and the culture and the foliage and just everything about it. World Adventures was freaking awesome.

16) Do you prefer small or large Sim houses?

Larger houses tend to not have as many routing issues, plus you can add more clutter in them! I’m a cc-holic, okay.

17) Do you prefer more modern or traditional Sim houses?

Traditional. Which is ironic, cuz one of my 2 main gameplays is my Nagron couple, and they live in a modern home in freaking Starlit Shores. :P

But I chose that cuz this is how I play TS3 the “straight” way (LOL!) -- I took my Spartacus sims out of their original medieval-ish save, and integrated them into a modern AU. So the fun for me is how I imagine these 73 BC characters would live in today‘s time. (Which is why I use Nagron for all the OC prompts & questionnaires I do, too).

18) What is your favorite Sims Challenge / Prompt?

The Simblreen photo challenge -- I always look forward to seeing what simmers come up with; Simblr turns into Halloween Town, and I love it.

19) What Sim emotion would you most often be?

Asleep.

20) What is your favorite skill to level up?

Spellcasting.

21) Describe your favorite Sim.

I’ll just direct y’all to my Nagron Page, cuz I describe Nasir all the time. :P

22) What kind of computer do you play Sims on?

As of Nov 2017, a Windows 10 Dell laptop. Before that I was on a HP Vista laptop, which I sorely miss.

23) Do you use Mods in your game?

YES

24) How many hours of Sims do you think you have played?

Thousands. Mostly spent in Build/Buy mode. :P

25) What are you planning to do next in the Sims?

I have some conversions I’m working on, a few requests I took, some lots I want to get started on, some gameplay pics I need to finish, and just a bunch of simming!

I’m just so tired & low energy right now. But this is my last couple of months of free time I’ll have before I go to grad school in the fall, so I want to get as much done as possible. *sigh* I’m stressed.

I tag everyone!

[nashvilletonihon]

How Can A Week Feel Like A Month???

It’s Monday morning here and it’s already hot outside. A stifling, oppressive, humid heat. The kind of heat that saps every last ounce of strength from your body and makes you physically exhausted. I stayed indoors yesterday, barely running my AC because I have no idea how much my electric bill will cost. My only reprieve is the fan circulating hot air around my apartment. In actuality, it’s really not so bad. I’ve dealt with no AC before and while it sucks, it’s not the end of the world. There’s only another month or two of summer and after that I’m sure I’ll be begging for warmer weather again. 

I have officially been in Japan for a week. One. Week. 7 days. That’s it. I feel like I’ve been here for a lifetime already. How have the days gone by so quickly and yet dragged on as if they would never end? This week has been rough. I left Tokyo Orientation on Wednesday and traveled to Kyoto City for, you guessed it, more orientation. Saying goodbye to the friends I had made in Tokyo was incredibly hard but I honestly didn’t have much time to think about it because a 2 1/2 新幹線 shinkansen (bullet train) ride later I was standing in my hotel room in Kyoto City wondering how I even got there in the first place. Thankfully the evening orientation meeting was only an hour long. Once we had changed back into our civilian clothing (I never want to wear another article of business attire ever again) we headed to an 居酒屋 izakaya (Japanese tavern) for dinner. There are 12 new Prefectural AET’s in total. 6 came in Group A and have already been teaching for a few weeks. The 6 of us in Group B arrived this past week and are still trying to wrap our heads around everything. 

Here we all are with 2 current JETs (Jacob & Jonah who are across from me), our Prefectural Advisor Leah and Karino先生, who works with Leah at the Kyoto Board of Education making sure we have all of the information we need to succeed in our new roles as Assistant English Teachers. 

Dinner was wonderful. The food was fantastic and the drinks were flowing. Four 梅酒 umeshu (Japanese plum wine) drinks later and I was actually feeling pretty good about things. For just a moment, I forgot about my stress and anxiety and focused on genuinely enjoying myself. It was...nice. So nice I even considered going out for karaoke afterward but the looming knowledge that I had to give my speech to the Board of Education AND meet my new supervisor/co-workers the next day quickly put an end to that. (Don’t worry, it all went well.)

The next few days sped by faster than the scenery outside of a 新幹線 window. I met 水口先生 (Mizuguchi-sensei), my supervisor who is so incredibly warm and kind hearted. She was there to receive me at my apartment when I rolled up after being in a car for 3 hours, sweaty, smelly, with my make-up melting off and completely exhausted. She showed me around my apartment, helped me to put some things away (they were all in the living room per the cleaning crew), took me to the store to buy some food and personal items and let me follow her around like the lost puppy that I am while I stupidly asked her “What does this mean?”, “Do you like this?”, “What do you use?” She even went back to her house to gather some towels for me to shower with since I didn’t have any. 

AND THIS WAS ALL JUST THURSDAY NIGHT. 

Friday was even worse. 水口先生 picked me precisely at 9 AM to begin a day full of important errands. The first stop was Kyotango City Hall where I had to change my address. 

I should mention that I currently do not have my residency card. Due to a glitch in the matrix there are about 2,000 of us JETs who do not have this incredibly important piece of paper that is vital to setting up a new life in a foreign country. So, you know, there’s that.

Holding our collective breath, 水口先生 and I walked into City Hall hoping against hope that they take the stupid little stamp marked “Residency Card will be issued at a later date.” in my passport as the real thing. With 水口先生 explaining in Japanese and me standing there, passport clutched in my hands and a pleading look on my face, I heard some of the few words in Japanese that I actually know... “大丈夫です.” Daijōbudesu. (It’s ok.) I had to stop myself from sinking to the floor in gratitude. It’s ok. It’s ok.

45 minutes later and I now had a Residency Certificate from City Hall. (Not the be confused with my Residency Card which I still don’t have and still desperately need.) Feeling elated and unstoppable, we headed to the Kyoto Bank to set up an account. An 1 1/2 later, boom, bank account open and bank book in my hand with my card scheduled to arrive in 2 weeks. We even set up automatic withdrawal so I don’t have to worry about taking care of rent and car payments separately. 

After the bank, we stopped for lunch. I think 水口先生 could tell that I was struggling. I had spent the entire morning intently listening to every conversation she had with others to try and pick up on any kind of Japanese I knew. (Spoiler alert, it was ZERO.) She pulled into a quaint little parking lot next to a restaurant called Ma Maison. Upon walking into the establishment I almost started bawling like a baby. It was decorated just like my Grandma Keether’s kitchen. Old school farm equipment, plates, mason jars and herbs hung from the walls and ceiling. Vinyl tablecloths and old wooden chairs decorated the seating area. For a moment, it felt like I was home. 

After lunch, we jetted over to Komori Auto Shop where I picked out a car. (Don’t get too excited guys, just wait until you see a picture of this thing.) 2 hours of discussing insurance, filling out paperwork and setting a date to pick the car up (August 22nd at 8:30 AM) and that was that. I will soon be able to drive in Tango like a regular citizen. Lord help me. And them.

The entire day was going so well. We were on a role. Unfortunately it came to a screeching halt at Y! Mobile, the phone company store where I was hoping to purchase a Japanese SIM card and internet. As of right now I only have internet in my apartment. (THANK GOD FOR THAT.) However, once I step foot outside, I’m on my own. I have no way of looking up directions, getting in contact with people or vice versa. It’s awful. I’ve only been walking around the area that I know, too scared of getting lost to venture any farther. Of all the places I didn’t think my passport stamp wouldn’t work, the cell phone store was not one of them. Who knew they would be so strict when it came to purchasing a phone plan? So now I have to just sit here and wait until my RC comes in the mail. Whenever that is.

Throughout this entire process so far, I’ve been trying to focus on the positives. They are few and far between but I know that it’s only because everything is so new and overwhelming. I’ve started making a list to keep track because if I don’t, the negatives will weasel their way to the forefront. Here are a few of the positives I’ve experienced in the past week:

I remembered the word for vegetables when ordering lunch in the Tokyo train station. (It’s 野菜, yasai, in case you were wondering.)

I have been complemented on how natural my Japanese sounds. (Although I’m pretty sure they’re just being nice.)

I used the self checkout at the grocery store and didn’t mess up or require assistance.

I’ve made a once cluttered and jumbled apartment into my temporary home. (It’s quite nice actually.)

I haven’t cried in 4 days. 

 That last one may seem unimportant, or trivial even, but it’s huge. Especially since I’m on the verge literally every minute of every day. An accurate representation of me would be something along the lines of this...

It’s a process. I just have to keep reminding myself of that. I know that once I get busy with school, (which will be next week after お盆祭り, Bon Festival. https://www.jrailpass.com/blog/obon-festival-2018-in-japan) the time will fly by and I’ll be getting ready to leave for the States again before I know it. I’ve got a mantra I keep repeating: “Take everything in stride. Feel your feels.” I won’t downplay my homesickness or my loneliness. To do that would be to deny myself the very real fact that they are there. Instead, I will make peace with it and remind myself that this isn’t forever. A year will fly by and the memories I make here are going to be worth it. The stories I share with my friends, family and boyfriend back home are mine alone to tell. I can’t let them down. I won’t let them down. 

That being said, I think this post has gone on long enough. I’ll close it out with some photos I’ve taken over the past week. Check out the captions below the pictures for explanations. 

A traditional Japanese breakfast at our Kyoto City hotel. 

Myself, Kelly Bell and Lizzie (UK) at the Tokyo Train Station. (It’s the largest and busiest station in the Japan.)

My all time favorite snack in Japan. おにぎり. Onigiri. (Rice ball.) These delicious little guys can be eaten by themselves, or be filled with any kind of savory treat. My two are ボニと bonito (dried fish skin) and 鰻 unagi (eel).

When people ask me why I won’t be eating fruit in Japan. (These grapes are $8.00!!!)

Thanks for sticking with me through this crazy long post. Hopefully it wasn’t as much of a downer as the last one was. Again, there will be more posts and more positives. Until then...

じゃあまた (See you!)

- レイチェル (Rachel)

[deedles-sims]

Devin’s “Try  It All” Legacy Challenge for The Sims 4

Hi there! This is a legacy challenge I created to do/see/complete everything The Sims 4 has to offer at least once. It incorporates all traits at least once, most aspirations and careers, and all skills and collections. I apologize if the transitions aren’t all that (I randomized the generations and strung them together the best that I could), but I think this is a really neat idea and wanted to share it. However, please don’t post this elsewhere without giving credit. I spent many hours putting this together. I hope you enjoy! I’d love any feedback you have! If you’d like to post about your journey, you can use the #Try It All Legacy Challenge

Rules:

Don’t cheat. It’s no fun if you cheat your way to victory. The aim of the game is to do and complete everything the game offers at least once. If you cheat, you can’t boast about completing such a feat.

Traits, Aspirations, and Careers are chosen for you. Unless specifically stated, you can decide which branch of the career you’d like to do.

All Aspirations, Skills, and Collections listed must be completed before you move on to the next generation. Failure to complete one of the listed requirements (unless due to some game mechanic or something outside of your control) results in the loss of the challenge.

Obviously each generation needs to have at least once child (If you don’t then the legacy can’t continue!). It’s up to you whether you adopt or birth the heirs, and how the heir is chosen unless specifically stated (i.e., the heir can be whoever you want, unless as in Gen 21 when the heir needs to be a vampire).

Berry Sims aren’t a required part of the challenge, but I’ve added in colors that I think pertain to each generation nicely if you’d like to incorporate that as well.

Since there are so many generations, you can also make it an Alphabetacy!

What to Do:

Create your founder with the given Aspiration, and Traits (and Berry color if you’d like to incorporate that into the game).

DON’T CREATE ANY CHILDREN OR SPOUSES.

Choose a large lot to grow your family on. There aren’t any restrictions on staying on the same lot, but I personally think it’s neat to see the lot change over the course of the challenge.

Play through the challenge!

The Generations:

1. Super Parent (Light Blue)

You’ve always wanted to have a large, beautiful, and successful family. As the matriarch/patriarch, you want to see your children grow up well, and are determined to be a big part of that.

Traits: Family-Oriented, Ambitious, Neat

Job: Start Up Entrepreneur (Tech Guru)

Get married

Master Parenting Skill

Have one child gain all positive character traits (from the Parenthood Pack)

Host one of each of the following: Birthday Party, Weenie Roast, and Toddler Play Date.

2. Freelance Botanist (Forest Green)

You were your parents’ pride and joy. They want to see you become the best of the best, but you want to go a different route. Since you were young, you’ve had a special bond with plants. So special, in fact, that you prefer them over Sims! You long to have the biggest garden around.

Traits: Loves Outdoors, Loner, Gloomy

Job: Being a Botanist

Master Gardening Skill

Complete Gardening collection

3. Master Mixologist (Grey)

As a teen, you had a fascination with nectar, but not in a bad way! You thought it was interesting how there were so many combinations that produced such delicious drinks, kind of like a chemist! You have made it your life’s goal to learn all of those combinations.

Traits: Foodie, Outgoing, Insider

Job: Mixologist

Master Mixology Skill

Throw a party to show off your skills

4. Angling Ace (Salmon)

While the rest of your family was busy fussing over food and parties, you were outside enjoying the great world around you. Among your favorite parts were the fish, which you’re determined to catch all of and have a private collection.

Traits: Loves Outdoors, Glutton, Hot-Headed

Job: Food Critic

Master Fishing Skill

Complete Fish collection

Showcase at least 5 fish that you’ve caught.

5. Soulmate (Rose Pink)

One of your life’s dreams has always been to have a nice spouse and kids. But until that day, you’re dedicated to your office job. However, during a typical day at work, you stumble upon that special someone. It’s a regular old office romance! Let’s just hope you don’t let your jealousy get the best of you...

Traits: Romantic, Jealous, Family Oriented

Job: Public Relations

Have an office romance

Host a Wedding

Get Married

6. Musical Genius (Lavender)

Most of your childhood was spent perfecting your music, and as such, you are eager to be a famous musician. You intend to make all of your dreams come true, and spend many a day practicing.

Traits: Creative, Music Lover, Perfectionist

Job: Musician

Master Guitar Skill

Master Guitar Skill

Master Violin Skill

Master Pipe Organ Skill

Master Singing Skill

7. Outdoor Enthusiast (Mint)

Your childhood was filled with loud music as your parent practiced their instruments for hours on end. To get away from it all, you spent a lot of time outside, enjoying the great outdoors. Your biggest goal is to start a bug collection.

Traits: Loves Outdoors, Vegetarian, Clumsy

Job: Politician with a Save the Trees platform

Master Herbalism Skill

Complete Insects Collection

8. Archaeology Scholar (Light Yellow)

Instead of chasing insects, you focused on the objects you found on your family outings. Once, even, you found treasure worth 1,000 simoleons! That sparked your interest so much that you’ve decided to dedicate your life to being a treasure hunter, both at work and outside. You’d love to have your own private collection someday!

Traits: Active, Ambitious, Cheerful

Job: Investor

Master Archaeology Skill

Master Selvedoradian Culture Skill

Complete Jungle Adventures collections

9. Party Animal (Plum)

You always hated the family treasure hunts your parents made you go on, but what could you do? Well, at least when you visited Selvedorada you could dance with the locals! You adored those times, especially the parties! You want to spend every waking moment living life it’s 1999!

Traits: Dance Machine, Bro, Insider

Job: Internet Personality

Master DJ Skill

Master Dancing Skill

Throw an Incognito Costume Party, a Spooky Party, a House Party, and a Dance Party.

(Bonus points if you have a child that gains all negative character traits from the Parenthood Pack. If you do, this should be your heir!)

10. Public Enemy (Scarlet)

Your parent was too caught up in their partying to raise you well, so you raised yourself (quite unsuccessfully, you might add). You never truly learned to share, or not to take what isn’t yours. If we’re being honest, you’re the kind of Sim that just wants to watch the world burn. And if it does, then you’d probably just laugh! (*insert evil laugh here*)

Traits: Evil, Kleptomaniac, Insane

Job: Criminal

Have 5 enemies

Have a collection of stolen items

11. Computer Whiz (White)

You always thought your mother/father was insane, and it turns out you were right! Because of your not-so-great upbringing, you’re a bit of a loner. However, you were the brightest student in your school, and you long to be the brightest computer genius in the entire world.

Traits: Geek, Genius, Loner

Job: eSports Gamer

Master Programming Skill

Master Video Gaming Skill

Complete MySims Collection

12. Bodybuilder (Gold)

As a child, your parents were very occupied with their technology. You, on the other hand, spent most of your time on the jungle gym. Now, as an adult, you’re dedicated to your health and wellness. If only you would just clean up after yourself!

Traits: Active, Slob, Self-Assured

Job: Pro Athlete

Master Fitness Skill

Master Wellness Skill

Adopt a cat or dog as part of a self-help kick

13. Friend of the Animals (Purple)

One of the best decisions your mother/father ever made (next to having you of course) was getting your 4-legged friend. The two of you were best friends since the day you were born, and because of the special bond you had, you’ve decided to open a vet clinic.

Traits: Cat or Dog Lover (Based on your choice in the last generation), Good, Bookworm

Job: Running a Vet Clinic

Master Pet Training Skill

Master Veterinarian Skill

Complete Feathers collection

Have at least 1 cat and 1 dog

14. The Curator (Ruby Red)

Your parent’s vet clinic didn’t leave them much time for parenting, but you didn’t mind. You were too busy collecting the many things around you. You got so busy, in fact, that you long to start a museum!

Traits: Snob, Art Lover, Unflirty

Job: Art Critic

Complete Crystals, Elements, Fossils, Metals, and Microscope Prints collections

15. Painter Extraordinaire (Sky Blue)

Spending time in your museum of a house wasn’t very entertaining, but you made it work. All you had to do was break out a canvas and some paints and you were set for hours! Of course, not all of it was a waste. You did learn some very handy photography techniques to help you as an adult.

Traits: Creative, Art Lover, Snob

Job: Painter

Master Painting Skill

Master Photography Skill

Host Black and White Bash to showcase your art

16. Nerd Brain (Steel)

You’re not one for art (the gene seems to have skipped a generation with you), but you are a whiz with a wrench! You’ll do anything to leave this world, including build your own rocket ship out of here! Sixam, here you come!

Traits: Geek, Ambitious, Perfectionist

Job: Astronaut

Master Handiness Skill

Master Rocket Science Skill

Complete Aliens collection

Complete Space Rocks collection

Befriend an alien

17. Master Chef (Apricot)

Outer space was never really your thing, but it did give you some wonderful recipes! You’re perfectly fine spending the rest of your life on planet Earth, so long as you learn every recipe there is!

Traits: Foodie, Genius, Vegetarian

Job: Master Chef

Master Cooking Skill

Master Baking Skill

Master Gourmet Cooking Skill

Throw a dinner party

18. Chief of Mischief (Crimson)

Instead of helping your parent in the kitchen or licking the spoon, you preferred to break it. Your parent gave up on changing your ways rather quickly, so you became the mean-spirited Sim you are now. Rather than being a silly chef, you want to change the world in a bad way: by being the best super villain!

Traits: Mean, Lazy, Childish

Job: Villain

Master Mischief Skill

Win 5 fights

19. Renaissance Sim (Orange)

Your parent’s evil ways have rubbed off on you, at least somewhat. Instead of being an evildoer, though, you just want to be a mad scientist! You use frogs as your test subjects (but not for things that would hurt them! You’re not that bad), and occasionally enjoy a game of bowling.

Traits: Squeamish, Geek, Materialistic

Job: Scientist

Master Bowling Skill

Master Logic Skill

Complete Frog Collection

Complete Space Prints Collection

Reach at least level 5 of 2 other skills, but never commit enough to master them

20. Serial Romantic (Hot Pink)

You’ve never been one for committing, a trait taught to you by your mother/father. However, instead of not committing to a career or hobby, you can’t seem to commit to a single Sim! You spend much of your life bouncing from one Sim to another to sometimes several at once!! It doesn’t even matter if they’re fully human or not, either! At least you’re successful in your career...

Traits: Noncommittal, Romantic, Hates Children

Job: Doctor

Have 3 significant others at once

Never marry

Have only 1 child (must be with a vampire!!!)

21. Master Vampire (Blood Red)

Your parent was always too busy fooling around to spend time with you, so you’re quite the loner. It doesn’t help that you’re a vampire and they also didn’t know how to raise you. You figured the whole “drinking blood instead of food” thing out on your own, though. Of course, being immortal is depressing, so you don’t talk to many people, and you’re sad pretty often.

Traits: Loner, Gloomy, Snob

Job: Management

Master Vampire Lore Skill

Become a Master Vampire

Marry a human

22. Joke Star (Navy Blue)

When you were younger, you were very much the goofball in school, and you quickly decided you wanted to make it your life’s goal to make every Sim laugh. You are determined to be the most famous comedian in the world!

Traits: Goofball, Outgoing, Cheerful

Job: Comedian

Master Comedy Skill

Master Charisma Skill

23. Bestselling Author (Sepia)

As a class assignment one day, you researched your family tree and discovered all of your wacky ancestors and their antics. Using this as your inspiration, you’ve decided to be an author and write an entire book series about your family.

Traits: Creative, Bookworm, Self-Assured

Job: Author

Write 23 books (one for each heir), and a final autobiography.

Complete Postcards collection

[unravelling-the-world]

I was trying my best, and another friend who always took pictures of us (we took pics of him as well dw) documented all of those moments, i even used a not-permanent spray color hair for that day just so the pictures could be special. I didn't particularly like myself, I never did ,but I was too busy to think about it. When i went out, i felt decent at least. Binder, thick under-eye red/black liner, just the perfect e-boy look i wanted. I felt that, as a pre-hrt person, I was looking as masc as I could while doing the style that makes me comfortable and I want to achieve. I was doing my best everytime we went out to look presentable in the pictures, and I did well 9/10 times. At some point, there was a light festival as well. I went with one friends and my cousin and we had fun. My friend and I took pictures, my cousin didn't want hers taken but we still interacted a lot and had fun, I loved the pics of that day. I never got to post them, because my downfall came soon after. At that point in time, I was finally living the dream. I posted frequently on ig (bc i went out frequently) and even though i wasn't anyone big, no partnerships or anything, not even 1k followers, I was growing, and having been intoxicated by fame at age 12, it was just what I needed. My posts started getting 70 likes on average and 7-10 comments, i only had 500 followers but they were growing at an average of 20 followers/month. A lil tween reached out to me and told me he thought I was really cool and was my fan. Bro, that was awesome. Things were moving forward, and altough i felt afraid of the future, I was working on it all. I was making progress in other aspects as well,having come out formally recently and with help from my psychologist, we were going to start looking into hrt, and i just couldn't believe it. I only have read fast and short info. I never really wanted to inform myself more because deep within me I was just afraid I'd never be able to get it and get my hopes up for nothing. We appointed a session to talk about that. This was march, and at my house, we watched a Japanese channel (because we are all interested in Japanese culture and such) So I knew the coronavirus was coming. They started talking about it since the start, in december, obviously, because they are way closer to where the virus started so it spread faster there. I remember it was on a cruise first. I knew it would eventually arrive here, so through all summer i told my mother "it's only a matter of time." I knew it'd come. March was here, and the last time i went out with my friends came along. Inside my head, I felt like I knew that was the last time. I had thoughts about "I wonder if i'll ever get to see a sight like this again". I managed to take some pictures, because,inside me, I knew that was the last time. I wanted to preserve the memory of it. I didn't want to forget. At the time, with a friend, who took the same metro line as me but lives further away, since it was just us two, when saying goodbye we'd always say "see you in five minutes" (like in endgame, because i told her the whole movie and told her when they said that and then black widow died) and she LAUGHED so hard and it became an ongoing joke between us (we are both kinda suicidal ngl but we just laugh abt it.) We said it that day as well, but we actually never saw each other again lmao

At that point, in the country, there were about 4 covid cases. Only 1 in the capital, so it had started, but was only just the start. When I got home, i kind of knew that was the last. My classes started, and for two weeks, it was hell on earth. Online,obviously. I got paired up with the guy I hated the most in the entire generation (I only knew half of them, and liked even fewer, but this guy. fuck. i would have killed him. he was awful.) Anyways. Yeah. But at the end, classes got postponed until further notice. So I was now a Neet! For a while, even though coronavirus was getting worse and worse here as everywhere, I was doing good. I was living the introvert dream, and since I have a decent/good relationship with my parents and grandma, life was just great. All around me I saw everyone struggle with quarantine. I was having a blast. Playing sims, watching anime, anything went. Shit was great. Got Gta V for free when epic released it, and had a blast. Got obsessed with obey me for a while. It was all fun.... Met via discord with my friends. Almost daily with certain friends, once in a while with others, but the whole group would be together at least once. It was good, for me. I felt good. I would ocassionally wake up and tell my mother that I was happy, and hug her. I don't think i'd ever done that. I was at peak, and I knew it. Drew a lot, played a lot. Did a lot of things and projects. Everything felt ok...My dysphoria wasn't great during these times (since now i stay in pajamas all day except when I use camara to meet with friends, and obviously I dont wear my binder with my pajamas) But i had so much free time, that I could just ignore it. (I'm good at avoiding things. at running away.)

Classes started June 1st. First day, I had a breakdown. I don't remember why, but I couldn't connect to class. I felt overwhelmed. I don't know and don't like asking for help because i feel useless when I do. So I didn't. Apparently I seemed more upset than I thought, because my dad noticed. When comforted or confronted, I always cry. I can't talk about my feelings without crying. I feel weak for expressing them. Even writing this, i feel the knot in my neck. My dad saw and ended up helping and comforting. I cried a lot. I went to class, but spent the whole 3 hours of class crying. Things were unstable for a while, but I was keeping afloat, I guess. I started feeling like shit, I wasn't happy daily anymore. Online learning felt so distant and so difficult and so different. I don't like change. At least not without expecting it beforehand. So yeah, that ended up taking a toll on my mental health. The downfall started. I was quite busy, but still tried to meet with friends via discord whenever we could. We had some online birthdays, and season 3 of osomatsu san had already been announced. I was looking forward to it so much. I was in pain, but that thought was keeping me going. I started getting worse, mentally. I started isolating myself ocasionally. I have quite long gaps from this period. I can't really recall much of what happened or what it was like. At some point around August-September I was watching 6teen, because my uni decided that starting a semester and compressing it into a trimester was a good idea, and finals were in september, i think. At the time of finals, i was watching 6teen. I didn't wanna finish it, so I started total drama after. I had a week of vacation in September as well, and I think I was OK for the week.

I won't lie. I don't remember october. I only know Osomatsu-san started here bc I waited for it all year long. I regained closer contact with a friend who lives in japan. Halloween also had an online meeting. I cosplayed, and felt good with myself for the night, for the first time in months. But I ended up having a breakdown later that night. A friend who didn't come and had said he'd come ended up arriving very late (2-3AM ish, meeting was at 10PM) He was very drunk. I don't mind. He says he just came to say sorry he didn't come bc he ended up meeting with irls. We tell him it's ok. He disconnects. He reconnects not long after, but we are confused, since that's not his voice. It was his friend who took his phone, a classic party prank. Doesn't matter, it was fun for a bit. This guy is also mad drunk, so talking to him is weird and funny. But shit gets bad for me in a bit. I was using a voice changer, as I usually do online, because Im ashamed of my high pitched voice. But this guy misgenders me, more than once, and also my friend who lives in japan. He doesn't seem to care, and I act like I don't, but it hurts so bad. My other friend who was there at that time corrects him, more than once. I felt thankful to her. I never thanked her afterwards because I didn't know how to bring out that topic without crying. This guy is very drunk though, and altough i doubt he had vile intentions because of the way he phrased it, he insists, that those are womans voices. They talk about it a bit, verbal comebacks. I wanted them to stop. At some point, my friend who lives in Japan leaves bc its lunch time for him. I felt like shit. I just told this other guy "I'm 10" and he dropped the subject, he believed me and the explanation. My friend laughed her ass out, because she thought I said it as a joke. Truth is, that was just a desperate answer to get him to drop the topic. I dont really care if he believed I was 10 or not though. I just wanted it to stop. He jokes with my friend for a bit more. I didn't talk much after, because I felt ashamed. I didn't want to talk ever again. Even now, even with the voice changer, I don't have the confidence I had when I started using it. I have lowered the pitch twice, just in case. My friend left the call a bit later. When she left, I left as well. I was thankful to her though. I don't remember if i cried or not, but it caused me a massive breakdown for about two weeks. I didn't talk online with anyone until my birthday, I think. I didn't tell anyone but my psychologist this.

I don't remember November much either. I know it's my birthday, and I know I came back to tumblr in november. Yall know when. Canon destiel and shit. Tumblr hadn't felt so alive in years. It felt like home. I remember I was having a bad breakdown during that time. I think it was career related. I can't really remember much. The shitshow happening on tumblr Destiel Election actually helped me get better. I remember this only because of a conversation I had with a friend. I started working on christmas decorations as well. December came along, I worked hard on christmas decorations. I played a bit as well, because on some of my classes I just didn't have anything to do lol. Decorations were finished two weeks in advance for christmas. For the first time ever! I was happy. During these times,Nov-Dec lockdowns started easing up a bit. I still can't go out at all though, because I live with my grandmother, so we're supposed to minimize risks. My parents only go out for shopping essentials that can't be bought online. So it's fair and I understand it, but it started becoming hard on mental health. Not because I can't go out, but because my friends start going out. They know I can't go, they don't exclude me, but they know I can't and I also know I can't. I guess in a form, its jealousy. It becomes hard because there's no one to blame. It's no one's fault. I'm not excluded on purpose, but the truth is, I don't want to hear them talk about what they do when they have fun. I've always been insecure. Even when all evidence points otherwise, I still believe, deep inside,they hate me. They wish I weren't in the group and would be better off without me. It gets hard sometimes.

Even though in general December was quite good, it also came with a major breakdown. One of my best friend's bday is in December. Up until then, Me, her, and another friend had been playing league of legends nearly daily. It was toxic sometimes (the game/community, not my friends) but we had fun. I just liked playing together. But that would come to an end as well. My friend celebrated her birthday, and did invite me, but obviously I couldn't go,and she knew this beforehand, so she didn't get mad or anything. She handled the situation very well, wrote on the gc once, and then did a special gc for birthday attendants to talk about details there and such, and reminded friends who asked in the gc to talk in the birthday gc. (this is how i knew, but i think it was well done tbh, i wish they'd just asked in the bday gc instead so i wouldn't have seen it and felt bad about how i couldn't go) My friend also offered to have me as an online guest, like, being in videocall in the computer on the table. like Karen from spongebob ig. the idea was cool, but honestly i felt bad. She celebrates her bday with her gf bc their dates are near, and I just didn't really want to inconvenience them? I mean, her gf is cool and she used to hang out with our group ocassionaly and she was cool and fit in, and it never felt awkward talking to her irl or anything but it's not like she's my friend and honestly I didn't wanna inconvenience her party, and even though I'm sure my friend wouldn't have minded, I didn't want to be an extra inconvenience for her too. I just wanted her to have fun, honestly. But feeling like a burden ended up weighing on my mind. This caused a bad bad breakdown, beforehand I had started to become better,little by little, but these two weeks waiting for that event to happen felt like a nightmare to me. I didn't tell anyone. I think i wrote it about here once. Around this time, an account on instagram called "matsunoadvice" got reccomended to me, and Oh boy Have I gone to them for advice. Of course, I sent them a message at the time, desperate for someone to talk to, because I couldn't tell anyone about this, because all my other friends know each other kinda and i didn't wanna inconvenience everyone. I didn't want anyone to know i felt like shit. I felt thankful to my friend, because she did try her best to include me, I just didn't really wanna inconvenience anyone. I guess I'd rather suffer alone myself than being a pain in the ass for someone else. After all, I've accepted that I'm alone long ago, and since now there's nothing I can do to maintain my social relationships now,I may as well just accept that theyre ending now. I kind of isolated myself for those two weeks, sometimes i would still connect on discord, but it always felt kind of distant. I stopped playing league of legends around this time.

I still hadn't confirmed to my friend if i was virtually going or not. Truth is, i kind of knew I probably wouldn't want to go in the end, bc im Like That™ But i told her in advance that i'd let her know the date of the event early in the day because of how unstable I am and I wouldn't actually be sure until the day (which was true when I told her) So the day of the event i told her that I was thankful but I wouldn't be assisting virtually and told her to have a great day! She replied okay in a nice way as she always did. I don't think she seemed weirded out by my answer. I hope she didn't feel bad, because she's very empathetic so I hope she didn't think about me at all that day. I hope she never reads this, and even if she does, she didn't really do anything wrong and handed the situation the best she could, the pain was unevitable for me due to the situation. beforehand i had also had a similar breakdown though, because 3 friends who i was/am? still very close to started meeting each other to skate together. I don't know how to skate/have never skated and obviously can't go either way, and sometimes they'd talk about it in the vc. I remained calm always until the call ended,but I did cry about it late at night. It's selfish, of course, but when no one saw anyone, it was easier. we were all the same. But now it felt like they were all moving on without me. In a way, it's what I always wanted, but I always wished to die first. I know it's not sane, but i'd imagined situations like that in my head, where I die and then everyone moved on and it made me feel calmer. But seeing that unfold before my eyes, when i'm still breathing here, i'm still here. It felt lonely. I'm glad they're having fun. I'm just upset I can't do it as well? And it makes me feel like inevitably my relationships with them will break and fall apart and dissapear and they're all still gonna be a interwined network, even though I did everything I could to maintain it because it's all I've ever had outside of my direct family? I didn't make any friends at uni or have a different group of friends so it just...hurt? It still hurts, i'm just more used to it. Also after the bday i did try to connect in vc but it just made me worse, like a friend said like "noo it got too wild honestly u didnt miss anything" and i was like lmao ok but i felt like kinda sad anyways but if i was there i wouldve probably slept through it anyways

...after i felt awful bc i have another friend who is just kinda blunt and kinda dumb when it comes to how others feel, and he was like ohh yeah but after the bday [friend] took us and some of [friends gf's friends] to our houses and since it was early we went to a mcdonalds and it was so fun !! and it was just so uncomfortable bc obviously im glad you have fun but like i dont wanna know??? bc it hurts a fuckin lot???? and my other friend who was also in vc (he was the one w the car) he was like "haha yeaaa it was fun" but he seemed quite uncomfortable talking abt it he could probably tell i didnt wanna hear and ik my other friend only did it bc he's naive not bc he had bad intentions but yeah it sucked i was like haha thats great heh.....like what ya want me to say babe

Christmas arrived and it ended up helping me a lot. Christmas is my favorite holiday and I decorated a month in advance, baked cookies for the first time (with my mom) and we just did a lot of things this year. It made me happy and kept me occupied through the pain (I know i described a lot of pain here but I only paid attention to it at night, which is why it still hurts now probably bc i've had it all repressed) And of course the gifts, honestly I didn't know what to expect because this year I didn't really know what to ask for and just asked for a surprise (because i love receiving things! anything) And my dad definetely outdid himself with all the gifts, I loved them and they're all useful too! I was amazed and i told my friends abt it and it ended up in me talking more in the vc again, and i also started playing genshin impact in late december as well. We also held a secrer santa in the group but not everyone participated (mostly bc of money) but the 4 of us that did was fun! i knew everyone's secret santa bc 2/4 asked to me for help and they were mutual </3 so i knew me and my other friend were mutual too lol but it was cool. I kinda was a bitch a bit though bc he delievered my gift to my home and was going to come a random day and I just wasn't prepared bc I was afraid of seeing him honestly I didn't want to see him and I hoped he wouldn't come? He didn't come that day but he did come some days after, I truly wasn't ready at that point anyway and my mom said we could let him inside if he sanitized, but he came with his mother and didn't get out of the car, we just exchanged the gifts, and honestly I was glad, i was polite and just said hi to both and thanks and all! Obviously i love him a lot bc we're close but idk why i didnt want him to come into my house i just feel like im so boring now and I dont know what we couldve talked abt and honestly ive always been shy but now i just forgot how to socialize and i was terrified so when he didnt get out i was just glad.....well, also

I feel like all of these incidents separated me and my friend who had her birthday on december. Now she wouldn't join the vc or gc often (or say she couldn't, which she usually did before) so I just assumed she hated me, but i didn't really have the guts to ask? She still liked my memes on the gc sometimes but not as she used to, she always used to like every single meme (or nearly all) and she never talked over me (I always get talked over except when I'm drunk bc i become a bit less shy therefore more violent) and would even call others out for me when talked over and always respected everything i told her abt me (Through the years, i've told her some of my deepest shits bc i just trust her like that i dont mind if she knows) but it just felt distant? Also a bit before that, at the start of december we started streaming on twitch, and that week i was very bad I told her i wouldn't play much bc i wasnt doing well but I was up for streaming bc i rly wanted to be professional abt it even if we dont pursue it as a career, but in the end we didnt stream, and fell out of streaming a bit after that. I was kind of afraid to ask her if she wanted to stream again, but we'd talked once and she said she'd finally gotten the cat earphones for the streams (she mentioned she wanted them beforehand) yeah anyways i dont think she actually hates hates me but idk the idea still lingers in my mind

uh yeah also i felt like shit for a bit bc i thought she definetely hated me bc we hadnt talked in a bit and she didnt like my memes anymore so i just assumed the worst, i even listened to break up music (which is what i do when a friendship ends bc altough ive never rly had strong romantic feelings for anyone that kind of song helps me move on after friend breakups too bc no one warns you abt how painful these are) and i cried obviously, but again i never mentioned it to anyone (i made a few vague textposts here though) and just got my shit together even if it hurt? lol, well a bit of time passes and everything seems to go back to normal, i dont remember how she told us but she said she had a job now which is why she didnt connect much and slept earlier and i felt relief lol bc i legit thought she hated me and i felt like shit abt it lol i mean the idea they kinda hate me lingers in my mind all the time but at that point in life i was like. SURE she hated me until that point. now we ocasionally play genshin together but i cant really talk at that time and that also makes me upset bc i do wake up late and im trying to fix my schedule a bit by waking up at 2pm instead of 5 pm but it doesnt even matter bc i play board games with my grandma daily (bc its good for her and its fun i do enjoy it) i just wish we could do it earlier bc lately she gets up at like 9pm and i end up finishing playing at 11/12/1 and its just kinda late to meet w my friends bc i always have smth to do/finish after and i just cant make it in time even if i wake up earlier? lol but i cant change her schedule so theres nothing i can do but cry about it

oh also ik matsunoadvice gave me advice on this but like there's this friend who i love obviously but sometimes he just talks abt his meetings w other friends and like it only makes me angry as fuck and i cant ask him to not bc im too shy but i wish he could stop. and also when he complains abt skate related stuff it makes me unexplainably angry but like i have no reason or right to im just angry bc i cant do that and probably never will bc i doubt ill ever be able to go out again ?? lol. and he even offered like "when we go out again u should come and ill lend u my skate and if u like it u can get one" and honestly its all super nice and i appreciate it and ive thanked him and told him yes but it just makes me feel angry inside bc i dont see an ending with all the mutations and shit and my voice cracks when i tell him haha yeah if we ever meet again bc honestly my youth is already over and i just spent it like a social recluse and i read a post here when i was younger that said like lgbt people spend their teens closeted and ashamed and live their teens in their twenties but now im gonna miss my twenties to the pandemic and then ill be too fucking old and itll be too fucking late and ill have to die and i just never lived bc i still havent even transitioned yet and i doubt ill ever be able to (this also causes me a lot of pain but i will ignore it) and the other day he said like i hope i can see u this year bc i miss u and i just said that honestly ive lost all hope of ever seeing anyone again and my voice cracked and my other friend said something related but not so related and im just glad he talked in bc i didnt rly care i just wanted to change the topic bc i know ill never see them again and eventually probably lose contact and see them all have fun together without me just as if i was dead but just didnt pass away and its difficult but i have to accept it and it hurts a lot now but in 7 years itll be fine, just like i accepted im unlovable and will never have a s/o and when i was 12 that hurt a lot but now it doesnt so someday i will be alone but i hope it doesnt hurt anymore.

this is all a mess and the format is everywhere and theres no timeline i hope no one reads it. if u do read it im sorry. i just honestly been carrying all of this for a while now and i want it out of my system honestly bc i dont know what to do with it and i was on the verge of a breakdown for a minimal thing hours ago i just want all this info out of my brain.....also obv these are only the bad things that have happened/good things that took me out of the hole but a lot of good things happened too lol and i skipped a lot of imp points like i changed careers and shit and also i met a lot of cool mutuals since i got back to tumblr and ososan been carrying my mental health every monday but yeah i just wanted the negatives out of the system. the frustrations and the anger. i hope no one reads this fr its so messy

[myassbrokethefall]

bad choices du jour

1. I realized I can install all my Sims 3 games that I bought on disc via Origin if I hoarded the cases with the product codes which of course I did

2. I spent half of yesterday and most of today installing the game and downloading and installing expansion packs, accompanied of course as always with a whole bunch of unsurmountable errors and endless troubleshooting (I actually got as far as putting in a help ticket with EA because Origin wouldn’t let me download anything, but then I found another way in while I was waiting for them to get to me in the queue) (and I closed my own ticket because I’m a good citizen)

3. After getting “unknown error” when trying to start the game after installing three EPs, instead of sensibly deciding it wasn’t meant to be I googled for a solution and found out that basically two of those EPs are just broken now for anything past El Capitan, so I uninstalled them and tried with just the one where they can go tomb-raiding (the most important) and it worked

4. Last night I spent an extremely long time relearning all the face sliders and recreating Mulder and Scully as best I could with no custom content

5. Today I gave in and installed all my custom content 

6. (before installing all my custom content I had to reacquaint myself through googling with where everything goes and download some starter mods folder that you apparently need now; in all sincerity, thank heaven for ModTheSims)

7. I installed one Mulder and one Scully from my old game and looked at them in CAS and I liked the Scully much better so I wasted all that time making Scully yesterday for nothing (I did like my new Mulder better; he was never quite right last time)

8. I just spent like an hour painstakingly making outfits for both of them

9. Pants styles have REALLY changed since the last time I played Sims 3

10. Earlier today I ordered a new laptop cooling pad since I killed one laptop with overheating and the fan did not shut up the entire time I was in the game today

11. I can’t find my custom houses and I don’t know why they’re not with the rest of my CC so now I have to search for them and I CANNOT REST UNTIL I HAVE THEM

12. Literally a few months ago I spent an entire day making the Unremarkable House in Sims 2 and now I totally am going to start over again and make it in Sims 3 (but not tonight)

13. (Seriously, it is bullshit that I can’t use half of my expansion packs)

14. I’ve also been watching Mindhunter all day (and quite liking it)

[elizzabethcomstock]

1, 13 and 14 😊

Thank you for the questions cutie!

1. First game you played obsessively? 

Oh gosh, I found myself obsessed with many games from a young age. It’s probably between Cats & Dogs 2, Tomb Raider ½, The Sims 1, Zoo Tycoon, Harry Potter, Mario Kart, The Legend of Zelda, House of the Dead 2 and Pokemon Snap. I spent so many days, months and years playing those games, and some of their continued franchises. I could spend a good 12+ hours just playing as Lara in Croft Manor in a day too!

13. A game you’ve never played that everyone else has?

I’m probably the only gamer in the world who hasn’t played Overwatch, and I really really want to get it sometime on my ps4 to see what it’s like, because I know I’ll love it!

14. Favorite game music? 

Tomb Raider 2 Venice theme by a long mile. I adored it as a child and played it probably too many times for my parents to handle lolol! It’s so fun and upbeat, made a great addition to the game with the sound of the speedboat included!

Other than that, The Uncharted Soundtack which has some melodies that are out of this world included in the entire franchise, The Witcher 3 Soundtrack which is really unique and strong but quite old aged sounding if that makes sense? The Horizon Zero Dawn Soundtrack, just the sounds of the machines captured me, what a gorgeous soundtrack and opening. The Tomb Raider Soundtrack, I used to listen to all the opening themes which was about 30 minutes long of all the games, and then listen to each games soundtrack individually, Life is Strage soundtrack is just so beautiful. The Fallout 4 Opening Theme tune. Gosh, I’m addicted to so many game melodies I could keep going haha!

Send me video game questions

1, 5, 8, 9, 10, 13, 14, 22, 38 have already been answered! =D

[divinelydivorced]

Goodbye, Grandma

My grandma passed away yesterday morning. Even though we knew it was coming, it is still hard.  Tuesday around 3:50 am, I awoke suddenly and couldn’t quite get back to sleep until 4:30. Come to find out, the end started around four and she was gone around 4:20.  It’s amazing how souls are so connected that we can feel the loss happening at the exact moment it occurs.  The older I get, I am made more aware of how similar my grandma and I are.  I’m proud to have inherited so many of her quirky traits and have come to embrace them.  In fact, I see them as a tribute to the impact she had on my life.  So, in honor of the life my grandma lived, here are the 25 things she has taught me:

1.     Bladder problems ARE a joking matter.  My grandma was a hot mess, God love her. Whether it was peeing her pants in an elevator in front of a bunch of strangers or never leaving a restaurant without a huge stain on her top, she always managed to leave a trail.  Most people would cry or die of embarrassment, but she’d just hee-haw, laughing so hard she’d likely pee again.  She passed on her small bladder and the ability to find humor in the embarrassment to me, which has provided my friends with endless counts of entertaining stories. College friends still text from time to time, “Remember when Adam Harris finally asked you to hang out and you had to say no because you’d just peed on your long sweater and had to shower and change?”  Yes, yes, I remember.  

2.     If you want it, get it.  She always knew what she wanted and wasted no time in purchasing it.  I remember, around age ten, her saying how much she wanted a bird feeder.  I went home and made one out of an old milk carton.  When I showed up to proudly give it to her, only two days later, there in her front yard was a brand new gorgeous wooden one.    

3.     Eat it and get it over with.  My grandma was notorious for eating an entire watermelon in the course of an afternoon.  This also contributed to her bladder problems.  Once, my sister went to take a nap at her house.  While drifting in and out, she caught a whiff of the sweet smell of a butter braid (a very large pastry you’d take to a party).  When she awoke excited for dessert, she went out to discover my grandma had de-thawed it, cooked it, and ate 99% of it in the course of two hours.  To this day, whenever I make any dessert-I eat 99% of it while it’s still hot.  We all know what’s going to happen so just get it over with already.

4.     If it annoys you, get rid of it-no matter its practicality. My grandma loved buying things almost as much as she loved getting rid of those same things three months later.  One time she showed up at mom’s house with a car full of lamps.  She decided she hated lamps and wanted them all gone.  My mom, always the practical one, kept them so when my grandma realized later they were necessary, she wouldn’t have to buy more.  Any of my friends know I’m the same.  I served wine in a juice glass the other day.  My friend asked, “Don’t you have wine glasses?” “I did,” I said, “but just got rid of them.”  “Why? You didn’t use them?” he asked.  “No, I used them all the time.  I just got tired of looking at them.”

5.     Never stop moving.  My grandma moved all the time.  She’d often announce it at the latest holiday dinner.  She would wake up, be suddenly sick of her place, and a month later would be somewhere new.  She once left a home, only to return to it a few years later.  A constant mover myself, I was looking forward to staying in my current place for more than a year (a new record) until I recently found out I had to vacate in 30 days due to construction.  Although annoying and inconvenient, I was not surprised when I found myself thinking the other day, “Actually-I’m kind of over this place, so that worked out.”

6.     Crazy is charming.  My grandma was nuts, as am I.  Yet we embrace the crazy and combine it with big hearts.  That’s why people keep coming back.  A little crazy never hurt anyone…and we are a lot of fun on road trips.

7.     The flu is for sissies.  We’d often stay at her house when we had the flu. Grandma gave us whatever we wanted, which included the time my brother insisted he wanted to eat a bunch of tacos.  You can imagine my mother’s frustration when she arrived to pick him up and found him vomiting ground beef and shredded cheese everywhere.

8.     Pools and convertibles aren’t luxuries, they’re necessities.  Life’s too short.  GET THEM BOTH.

9.     Dogs are our children.  She had an antique cradle for her dog to sleep in and was the first to introduce me to a dog stroller.  I get it and think it makes absolute sense.

10.  You don’t need a man.  Most of my life she’s been single.  Men have chased after her and she’ll let them buy her lunch or keep her company, yet it goes no further.  Because at the end of the day, she’s her own woman and has no need for a full-time man dragging her down.  This is a lesson I’m still learning.

11.  Soap operas are good television.  She lived near the high school, so at lunchtime, my girlfriends and I would take our lunches to eat at her place and watch Days of Our Lives.  Those were some of my favorite memories.  If the show got really intense and it was time for us to go, she’d try convincing us to drive her car back, at age 14, so she didn’t have to leave.  She even took me and my aunt to a Days of Our Lives festival one summer.  When it came to idolizing celebrities, her and I saw eye to eye.

12.  Dairy Queen can be dinner.  When she helped move me to Michigan, we spent a week eating Dairy Queen snicker blizzards for every meal.  She was doing Weight Watchers at the time and, although two of these, met her quota for the day-she was willing to make the sacrifice.  I remember thinking how brilliant this was.  When we got tired of Dairy Queen (rare), we’d hit up the Chinese Buffet.  No excuses and no shame-it’s how we rolled.

13.  Why choose when you can have both.  My grandma loved driving with the windows down.  She also would sweat profusely.  Once, we got in the car on a blazing summer day and I asked if we should turn on the AC or roll down the windows.  Her answer?  Both. We cranked the radio up, let the wind tousle our hair as the cold AC blasted our faces.

14.  Underwear is optional.  In fact, it’s often preferred you go without.

15.  Sing loud and proud.  My grandma had one of those loud operatic voices which she’d use to pelt Amazing Grace in church.  We grandkids would chuckle, but in reality, I always loved how she simply didn’t care. She was singing for Jesus.

16.  Spend your time how you want.  There were years where she’d choose hours of Farmville over leaving the house.  I’ve been known to spend an entire 48 hour weekend playing Sims-taking breaks only to run to the bathroom and grab a snack.  It’s our time-we will do what we want with it, and if that means interacting with computerized lives over human ones, so be it.

17.  There’s always something burning in the oven.  Every holiday she left something in the oven.  EVERY. HOLIDAY.  How no one caught on, I don’t know.  How I managed to inherit this trait, despite being annoyed by it, beats me. It seems the rolls always take the biggest hit…who needs carbs anyway-more DQ.

18.  There’s no time for sentimentality.  At a family event, she once walked out with crates of old photographs-including her wedding photos-and announced to the family she was throwing them away the next morning, so, “grab what you want.”  Everyone started arguing with her and refusing to take anything.  Meanwhile I did a clean sweep, loading boxes into my car.  Later, everyone was grateful because she kept to her word and burned everything I didn’t get my hands on.  Years later, I marched out to the living room with a box full of the photos I’d taken and said to my mom, “I’m throwing all of these away tomorrow, so take what you want.”  You better believe she took them-lesson learned.

19.  Sausage gravy is love.  As long as I knew her, she had a part-time job of sitting with an elderly person, a job I’ve now inherited.  As soon as I could work, she started taking me along and then giving me some of her shifts.  She taught me how to make sausage gravy-the first meal I ever learned to cook.  “Old people love sausage gravy,” she told me. She was right.

20.  Rules are meant to be broken.  My grandma didn’t give a f***.  In fact, she invented the phrase.  Sometimes she’d do stuff simply to get a reaction out of you.  There was no rhyme or reason-she went with her urge. I remember walking through the shoe store with my mom a couple years ago and asking my mom, “Do you ever get a strong desire to just start knocking things over?”  

21.  If it can go in a blender, it should.  Grandma introduced me to smoothies and I’ve never looked back.  “Everything can go in a blender!” she once enthusiastically told me as she threw in leftovers along with fruit and hit “blend.”  Now I buy pineapple in bulk and enough produce to feed a small village for a month.

22.  New fads are meant to be tried.  My grandma purchased every diet pill and vitamin that existed, as well as any exercise devise.  She had one of those machines that shook you, vibrating a strap around your bottom and promising to eliminate cellulite by simply standing there.  She had the utmost confidence they would work.  Each time she’d pull the latest tool or pill out of the box, I’d watch in awe as she demonstrated its powers, believing she’d discovered the secret to staying fit and healthy.  She instilled this hope in me.  I carried a crystal around for weeks once after reading it’d get my period to finally to start.  I paid an obscene amount of money for Cindy Crawford’s miracle elixir, returning it 30 days later, and then surprising myself by purchasing it a second time years later during a 5 am workout binge when the infomercial reappeared.  My recent purchase was a $100 fascia blaster which I use with fervor, while watching Friends episodes, and later have to justify when explaining the bruises on my legs to friends with a, “Yeah, it hurts but I can feel it working!”

23.  Walk everywhere.  It’s great exercise, sure.  But, more importantly, it gives you a chance to catch up on the town gossip.

24.  Careful-you can give a man your yeast infection.  This statement alone is self-explanatory.  Yet my grandma felt the need to retell an in-depth twenty-minute story of how her and my grandpa discovered this to be factual, leaving me scarred for life.

25.  When life pushes back, you push harder.  The beginning of my grandma’s life was not easy.  In fact, as I understand it, it was quite hard. My grandpa rescued her and she fell madly in love.  When he died so young, it would have been easy to give up.  But she didn’t.  She found job after job, she gave of herself whenever she could, and always left people laughing.  She was resilient.  She didn’t take the easy way out and, in fact, often took the road less traveled. She made no apologies and left some scars.  Although I will miss her greatly, I am grateful she’s in heaven, reunited with my grandpa-right where she’s always wanted to be.  

So, sing loud, grandma.  Eat your fill of watermelons and leave your underwear here on earth.  I won’t say rest in peace because that never was your style and, besides, I can hear the hee-hawing from heaven already.  In the end, she had it right.  We don’t need all this stuff we carry around because it’s only temporary. All that matters is how you make people feel, the laughter over tears, and never giving up.  And, of course, always knowing where the nearest restroom is.

[gyrlversion]

Phone book, whats a phone book? 20 everyday tasks that nobody does anymore

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With new and efficient technology, these 6 tasks have fallen out of our daily routines. USA TODAY

Daily necessities are vanishing one by one, thanks to new and efficient technology. Stamps, maps and cookbooks still exist, but we hardly ever need them. Why place a personals ad when you can just “swipe left?”

The standard electronics, gear and ways of yesteryear have vanished as if it was never invented at all. As old formats disappear, that leaves us with the task of what to do with our memories.

Even services that seem new are vanishing in the name of progress; Apple is killing off iTunes, for example. and here’s what it means to your music and movies.

Here are some rituals that are no longer required in many households. If you’re 40 years or older, you’ll probably smile with nostalgia. Share this list on social media. Others will enjoy this trip down memory lane too!

1. Memorize a phone number

Pop quiz: How many phone numbers do you know by heart? Some people don’t even know their spouse’s numbers. How times have changed. Now, you tell your smart assistant to call someone in your contacts, or you touch their name on your phone.

The earliest cellphones required you to transfer your entire directory by hand, from the old unit to the new one; now, with cloud technology, your contacts are automatically downloaded.

What happens if you lose your phone, say, at a Disney theme park? This couple got separated and turned to Facebook for help.

2. Use a phone book to find a company to do work around your house

Generation Z may not even know what “Yellow Pages” refers to. They may not have ever seen a phone book.

Online consumer services like Angie’s List and Yelp have made finding service people easy, plus you can read other users’ ratings. One of the newer ways to find ultra-local services is Nextdoor, which has a special section for “recommendations,” along with crime watches and other local info.

3. Sell your car with a cardboard sign stuck on the windshield

Unless you’re selling your vehicle to someone you know and trust, these transactions can get sticky and even a little dangerous, especially with all the trolls. Craigslist started more than 20 years ago, and it’s still going strong, although it, too, still suffers from trolls and weirdos. If you want to sell your car, here are three sites that may be better than Craigslist.

4. Figure out math in your head

Few of us ever carried calculators with us to the grocery store. In contrast, pretty much everyone with a smartphone uses it to do basic calculations, no matter where or when you need it. In fact, you don’t even have to jab numbers anymore, physical or virtual: Tell Siri to solve a math problem, or command Alexa to do that pesky long division for you, along with countless other handy skills.

5. Call and ask a family member, “Where are you?”

Find My Friends changed the family-safety landscape by geographically connecting iPhone users. This app was a life-saver for parents with kids, adults taking care of aging parents, and countless others. Phone Tracker is a free app for iPhone and Android-powered phones that not only tracks location but also messaging and web activity.

Analog clocks may be teetering on extinction. (Photo: robas / Getty Images)

6. Tell time by hands on a clock

Like cursive writing, analog clocks may be teetering on extinction. Few people with smartphones bother with watches anymore, unless they’re fashion statements or fitness trackers. With digital clocks dominating our computers and hardware, those 12-numeral timepieces may become pure novelties.

Even your trusted alarm clock has received a tech makeover. Click or tap for three apps that monitor your sleep cycle, and wake you up when you’ll feel the most rested.

7. Make photo albums

It’s hard to imagine printing an image at a one-hour photo store, taking back your packet of 4×6 snapshots, and then meticulously pasting them into a faux-leather photo album. Given the ease of digital photography, and the innumerable images you could produce on a regular day, you’d fill up entire shelves in no time.

Photo-sharing services like Flickr and Amazon Cloud and have existed for some years, and now some apps will help you organize your photos and keepsakes, some of them from well-known companies like CVS and Walgreens.

8. Have a CD or record collection

Wasn’t it cool back in the day to walk into a shabby-chic apartment and see those shelves of CDs? Wasn’t it a joy to flip through boxes of vinyl records? Napster was the first sign that music could exist as a tiny, virtual MP3 file, and then iPods basically dealt the death blow.

Today, music exists as a digital index on a screen. Purists may love their turntables, but CDs have probably gone the way of the wax cylinder.

9. Make mixtapes

There was something so special about a mixtape. We spent hours finding the right song, then lining up two cassettes to copy a song. So many lovers cemented their relationships using a blank tape and a few dozen favorite albums.

Now, you can drag and drop a digital playlist in seconds.

10. Call a theater to get movie times

Back in the day, you’d dial a theater and listen to its endless-loop recording of movies and times. Sometimes, you’d catch it mid-loop and have to wait for it to start at the beginning to get all the movie.

With Google, type “movie times,” and the search engine will list films based on your location. You can also ask your personal assistant, such as Google Home, what films are playing at the cineplex and what time they’re on, along with tons of other tricks and Easter eggs.

Blockbuster: There’s only one store left in the entire world

Perks: Amazon expands free one-day shipping for Prime members

11. Record your favorite programs on tape

All year, we’d wait for “It’s a Wonderful Life” or “The Wizard of Oz” to pop up on TV. When they did, we’d push a VHS tape into the machine and wait until the proper moment to press “record.”

When TiVo emerged, it streamlined this process by making scheduled recordings even simpler. Now, with streaming services, web archives and easy-to-purchase downloads, the timing of a broadcast barely matters anymore. But as you cut on the cord on traditional cable television, make sure you pick the services that best meet your interests and budget.

12. Watch shows when they are broadcast live

In the same vein, we rarely have to sit in front of the television, eagerly waiting for a “major network event.” Services like Hulu and YouTube convert a huge amount of national television into a digital format, and local news stations log most of their important segments onto their websites.

13. Run to the store for a last-minute gift

Curses! You forgot a Mother’s Day gift! Should you change your whole schedule so you can rush to the store and hurriedly pick something out? If you have Amazon Prime and live in an Amazon hub, there’s no need. You can order same-day delivery and have that gift couriered to your front door.

It’s just one of the many benefits you probably didn’t know Amazon offers. Click here for more than 20 lesser-known perks that come with your Amazon Prime membership.

14. Cut things out of the newspaper

When I was a kid, my dad used to cut out articles from the newspaper and put them in my lunchbox. I miss those days. If Dad were still alive today, he’d do what most of us do: Tap or click a button to share content by text or email. Speaking of sharing information, do you get my newsletters? Dad would like that!

15. Send a handwritten letter

Don’t get me wrong: It’s still wonderful to receive a postcard from faraway places. You might say that email, texting and video conversations have made handwritten letters even more special. But no one is forced to transcribe their thoughts by hand and drop those letters in a mailbox. Heck, nowadays, we use voice dictation to write messages.

16. Looking up the spelling of words in the dictionary

Spellcheck is nearly as old as word processors, and many of us have grown up expecting Microsoft Word to underline our mistakes in red squiggles. But autocorrect takes this concept a step further, guessing what we intended to write and correcting our errors.

This can be handy for clumsy thumbs, but it can be embarrassing when autocorrect guesses wrong.

Rare is the phone booth where you handle a dirty phone and put in a coin to make a call. (Photo: Jefferson Graham)

17. Use a phone booth to make a call

Phone booths are making a comeback in open floorplan offices where there is no privacy. But rare is the phone booth where you handle a dirty phone and put in a coin to make a call. The last holdouts may be an airport or a particular part of town, but even international travelers can usually nab a SIM card the moment they step off the plane. Did you know you can use your cellphone as a walkie-talkie? Here’s how. 

18. Carry cash

I remember my dad telling me, “Always carry a ten dollar bill because you never know when you’ll need it.” In a world of debit cards and P2P apps (person-to-person), we rarely have to carry cash anymore. So what happens when your phone is dead, there’s no one around and all you have is a phone booth? Luckily, most public phones in the U.S. are outfitted with credit card strips.

19. Use a travel agent

Travel agents can be essential for elaborate vacations, but for general flights, services like Kayak and CheapFlights have completely transformed how we book our passage. You can compare hundreds of airlines and agencies in seconds for the best deal. If you’d like to save even more, use Google Flights to find the cheapest airfare. Here are five ways Google Flights can really help you save as long as you’re flexible with your travel schedule.

20. Getting your old checks back from the bank every month

Oh, people still write checks, and physical paychecks are still routine methods of payment, but I doubt this antiquated practice will last much longer. Even depositing checks has become digitized, thanks to ATMs that scan the piece of paper and print a facsimile on your receipt.

That said, online banking does open a whole universe of security risks. If you’re not sure whether your phone’s banking app is secure, there are three critical steps you can take.

Any long lost tech you’d like to add to this list? Drop your ideas to me on Twitter.

What digital lifestyle questions do you have? Call Kim’s national radio show and tap or click here to find it on your local radio station. You can listen to or watch the Kim Komando Show on your phone, tablet, television or computer. Or tap or click here for Kim’s free podcasts.

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Cycle Africa: Tanzania

We entered Tanzania without much trouble and then drew some money at the only ATM in town, which is just to the right of the bridge when you cross over from Malawi. (If you come this way, use it – there isn’t another for 100 kms!)

After cycling up a short hill into the border town we stopped at a bar/lodge and had our first ever Tanzanian beer, the aptly named Kilimanjaro. I then tried to source a simcard from one of the many roadside stalls outside. As usual, it needed to be registered against my passport, which is always a bit confusing and took a while. Once done they gave me the simcard and it was the wrong size, which means I couldn’t use it but had to buy it since it was registered to my name. I would have to get it cut down to size somehow.

Fortunately, I still had my Malawian simcard which was still working via data roaming so I was able to use that to work that night. We finished our beers, left the lodge and headed off towards a nearby campsite that was listed on the app iOverlander. I later discovered we should have stayed at the lodge since they are usually cheaper in Tanzania than camping!

The campsite turned out to be very basic, with no electricity or hot water, but we stayed anyway since we had nowhere else to go. The caretaker gave us two warm beers and we cooked some dinner around a rickety table while I got work done. The time change from Malawi means the sun stays up an extra hour in Tanzania, so it felt quite late when we finally got to bed.

Uphill to Tukuyu

We awoke early as usual at 5 am but it was now pitch dark, so Romain slept in a bit longer while I did a bit of work. After a quick coffee, we packed the tents and headed off. We knew from checking on the travel app Mapy.cz that it was going to be a long, uphill day. The countryside fell away beside us as we climbed higher and higher up the Tanzania escarpment away from Lake Malawi (or Lake Nyassa, as it’s called in Tanzania).

The road rose and wound along high mountain ridges with deep valley’s dropping away on both sides, providing us with beautiful vistas across fertile land lit by the rising sun. We stopped for a break and a drink in a small town where I managed to get my simcard cut to size but was unable to source any airtime to top it up.

After a brief snack, we continued on and made it to the small mountain town of Tukuyu by early afternoon, where we planned to spend the night. We found a lodge I had seen on the app iOverlander which gave us a room with two double beds for only 15,000 Tanzanian shillings (Tsh) – about $7! The entire experience reminded me a lot of my time cycling in India, not just because of how cheap it was but the way the lodge was set out and especially the toilets. Just like in India, they use Asian squat toilets with a bum-gun and always have a rickety shower located directly overhead.

After checking in I went to find some cold beer, which caused a bit of confusion (few people speak much English in rural Tanzania ). As I would learn over the next few weeks, it’s uncommon in Tanzania for people to drink beer cold. While the bars usually have a fridge or freezer, they don’t keep the beer in it. Eventually, a nearby local bar managed to understand what I wanted and put two beers in the freezer for me, instructing me to come back in half an hour.

In the meantime, Romain and I had a shower, washed some clothes and cleaned our bike chains before heading into town to grab some food. We found a place that did rice and beef for only Tsh 2000 ($1) and I also managed to get 10GB of data added to my sim card for around $12. After dinner, we went back for our now cold beers and watched a movie on my laptop before getting to sleep.

Tukuyu to Uyole

In the morning we discovered our clothes weren’t dry yet but we needed to head off since it would be another long, uphill day. We tied all the wet clothes to the backs of our bikes as best we could and cycled off into the hilly countryside. On the way, we grabbed some cheap samosas for breakfast and stocked up on water and biscuits for the road.

We stopped for lunch in a small village and had some rice and beans for around Tsh 2000 ($1). It was a hard struggle uphill all day long and around 2pm it began looking like it might rain. I tried to cycle faster, which only made me more tired, but luckily we reached our destination of Uyole before any rain arrived. We found a cheap room at a place called the White House, although it only had one bed so Romain opted to set up his camping mattress on the floor.

It was still fairly early so with an afternoon to kill we decided to get our hair cut into mohawks for no particular reason other than it was less than $2 to do so. Mine didn’t come out quite as well as Romain’s, mostly because I don’t really have much hair left. We then grabbed dinner and a few beers before heading back to the lodge where I got some work done before bed.

Uyole to Igurusi

Today we would finally have some downhill, so we didn’t need to wake up too early. I got some work done in the morning in case the connection was bad later and then we had a big breakfast of chip omelet and samosas before hitting the road. I also drew some more money as I wasn’t sure if any MasterCard ATM’s would be along the road, but it turns out they are far more common in Tanzania than Zambia.

The road leaving Uyole wasn’t great. It’s a major transport route for cargo coming from Dar Es Salaam to Malawi and Zambia and as such is very busy with large trucks. In addition, the shoulder is all cracked and worn away, making it difficult to cycle in. As a result, we spent a lot of time weaving on and off the main road surface while trying to avoid trucks and still get the smoothest ride.

Fortunately, it wasn’t a long cycle as I was feeling a bit ill and weak by lunchtime. I wasn’t sure if it was the food or early signs of Malaria but we decided to stop for the day anyway. It was a bit before our intended destination but we could always make up the distance tomorrow. We found another cheap guesthouse (they are everywhere along this route, I guess to serve the truckers) and then later in the evening walked into town to source food. After a big dinner of chicken and chips, I was feeling a bit better but decided to get to bed early anyway.

Igurusi to Makambako

Fortunately, I woke up feeling fine, so after the usual two cups of coffee we got going around 7 am. If we hoped to make our destination of Makambako today we would need to cover 100 kms – most of which was uphill! We stopped for breakfast around 9 am and had the usual chips with a bit of onion and tomato salad – a staple breakfast food in Tanzania for around $1.

As the day wore on the rolling hills gave in to a gradual, slow ascent that drained the energy out of us. It was also very hot now and we were struggling to find anywhere with shade to rest or cold drinks. The roadside was sparse here and the few places selling drinks didn’t have any electricity to keep them cold. We settled for the warm water in our bottles and pushed on through the midday heat until eventually reaching the outskirts of Makambako by 5 pm. We stopped at the first roadside bar we saw, which by some miracle had cold beer. After downing one, we continued on to a place called Three-in-One guesthouse, which had been recommended on iOverlander.

It was very cheap at only Tsh 10,000 ($4) for a twin room with two single beds and ensuite, although rustic, bathroom. The bikes didn’t fit in the room but they had a secure courtyard within the property to store them. For dinner, we had some slightly pricey chicken and rice at Tsh 5,000 a plate – almost $3!

That night we were interrupted by a loud knocking on the door and some voices speaking in Swahili. Assuming it was a mistake we ignored and waited for them to leave but they knocked some more. Eventually, Romain opened the door and a plain-clothes man claiming to be an immigration officer said he needed to see our passports. We naturally didn’t believe him and argued but he showed Romain a badge which apparently looked genuine although I didn’t see. We showed him our passports anyway and he looked at them very briefly and asked where we had come from. Despite claiming to be an immigration officer he clearly didn’t know that Songwe is the Malawi/Tanzania border gate, which seemed suspicious. Anyway, he left and we went back to bed but I felt quite uneasy about the whole episode.

Makambako to Mafinga

Fortunately, our interrogator from the previous night didn’t return in the morning as I had feared. After a brief coffee, we got going towards the next town of Mafinga. As we left town we passed through one of the very common police checks, but for the first time, they stopped and asked us questions about our travels. This, coupled with the checks last night, makes me think Makambako must be a common route for illegal immigrants moving through Tanzania, as we were never checked or stopped again after that.

We grabbed some peanut bars and cookies for breakfast at a petrol station and continued along the road. It was unusually misty and cold and almost looked like a storm was brewing but it turns it was just a result of the change in altitude. We were much higher up now and the early morning air clearly takes a bit longer to warm up. Bizarrely, I started to get hayfever symptoms – something I haven’t had since leaving London two years prior. It was just a mild irritation – the usual itchy eyes and sneezing – but I really hoped it wouldn’t continue throughout Tanzania.

By lunchtime, the air had cleared and I was feeling much better. We stopped to rest and made some avo, tomato and onion sandwiches – the cheapest and most common roadside ingredients available here. Further along the road, we hoped to find a farm stall that, according to iOverlander, apparently sold wine, meat and most importantly: cheese (unheard of in most of Africa). However, to Romain’s bitter disappointment, it was no longer operating.

Heartbroken, we dragged our ragged souls over the last climb and then rolled despondently down towards our destination for the day, Mafinga. Much like most other small towns along this route, Mafinga is principally designed to serve truckers and is lined with cheap guesthouses. We chose the one with the most garish plastic animals outside (a common theme in Tanzania) and checked ourselves into a pricey (Tsh 20,000 – $8) but rather fancy room with satellite TV and all. It even had a real flush toilet and hot water shower – 5 star! It also had cold beer and amazing samosas in the restaurant.

Dinner consisted of the usual rice and beans with beef, after which we tried to watch some satellite TV only to discover it’s controlled by a central unit and we couldn’t choose the channel. After a few minutes of a bizarre Swahili-dubbed kung-fu movie, we retreated to the safe haven of watching Rick and Morty reruns on our phones.

Mafinga to Iringa

We had hoped for some of the lovely samosas for breakfast but had to settle for fat cakes and boiled eggs because sane people don’t cook samosas at 6 am. The route to Iringa looked mostly downhill so we took it easy, pedaling along and enjoying the scenery. Along the way, we saw the occasional burnt-out truck and colonial church, common sites around these parts. Lunch consisted of chips, onion and tomato with a few bonus bits of charred and chewy beef – yum! People who like well-done steak and undercooked chips would love Tanzania.

Presently, we arrived in Iringa and battled the horrible 200m climb to the village, which is oddly built high up on a hill overlooking the Ruaha river. It’s quite a bizarre place – a mix between local African with colonialists relics and modern tourists. We immediately noticed that things might be bit pricier here, so after an exorbitantly priced Tsh 4,000 beer ($2), we went in search of affordable accommodation. A kind gentleman directed us to the shit side of town where we found a Tsh 15,000 room in a guesthouse down a dirt road between a filthy sewerage river.

It was ideal and almost big enough to fit both the beds while still having space to open the door. The shower was particularly impressive as it needed to be manually switched on at the wall, after which is proceeded to electrocute me while showering. I decided cold water was fine.

After a quick beer, we tried to buy Romain airtime but it was Sunday so everything was closed. Instead, we took the world’s bumpiest tuk-tuk ride half a mile across town to get pizza at a horribly overpriced western restaurant advertised on iOverlander. Anyway, the pizza was actually fairly decent and almost worth the $8 price tag – double what we were each paying for our accommodation. Back in town we grabbed a beer and watched Tanzania beat Uganda at football before getting to bed.

Iringa

We decided to take a rest day from cycling and chill out in Iringa today. This mainly consisted of sitting at an expensive western cafe called Neema Crafts drinking coffee and eating cake and ice cream which was actually really good. They also had free wifi so I got quite a bit of work done and finished my Zambia blog. We reverted back to our usual cheap and cheerful rice and chicken for dinner at a small cafe near the lodge.

Iringa to Mbuyuni

The road from Iringa to Mbuyuni took us through an exceptionally beautiful mountain pass, although the road was very bad and we saw a few trucks along the way which had gone off the edge or been in accidents. The authorities don’t seem very active in removing the leftover bit from prior crashes – maybe to serve as a warning to others?

On the way down I was clenching my front brake so hard the connecting piece became loose, which gave the entire experience an exciting extra level of near death. It has managed to sufficiently stay in place though and still works so I guess I’ll have it looked at one day. Once we reached the lower escarpment the weather and scenery changed drastically. It was crazy hot down here and the surrounding bush reminded us of Botswana. We briefly tried to cool down in the shade of a tree but it was no good so we pushed on until we reached a small roadside cafe. The local guys there were cooking meat on skewers and every few minutes would run yelling into the street trying to get the trucks to stop and buy some. It looked quite dangerous but was hilarious to watch.

We had a cool drink followed by a beer and then a local girl decided she wanted to make me her husband so she came to sit next to me and we chatted in broken Swahili. I used my Swahili app to tell her she was very beautiful, which resulted in a cacophony of laughter from all the surrounding men. She then tried to coax me into bed but we needed to get going before sunset and I wasn’t sure I was ready to settle down in Tanzania just yet. I wished my new love a fond farewell and we cycled off into the sunset, never to be seen again.

In Mbuyuni we again found a decently priced guesthouse and bought some tomatoes and onion to make pasta in the room on Romi’s crazy petrol stove. That thing will be the death of us one day, mark my words. It’s a steel tube full of gasoline and sends balls of flames in every direction whenever he lights it. I’m fairly sure indoor use is not recommended.

Mbuyuni to Mikumi

We had the most interesting breakfast in Mbuyuni. It was just like the kind of beef noodle soup you get in Vietnam which chunks of boiled beef floating in broth, only without the noodles. Okay, it was just boiled chunks of beef with some onion and chili, but they gave us two chapatis with it to add a bit of carbs. The road to Mikumi was a long and winding uphill slog along a river but fortunately not as hot as the previous day.

In Mikumi, we decided to stay at a slightly expensive ($10) hotel/campsite because another guy from the Cape to Cairo WhatsApp cycling group was going to meet us there. Also, it did have an amazing swimming pool. After a quick beer, we got the tent set up and had a swim before getting some cheap dinner at a small local place across the road (the hotel restaurant was a bit overpriced). Since the other cyclist didn’t arrive that day and we hadn’t had much chance to use the pool we decided to take a rest day and stay another night. Fortunately, the hotel agreed to give us a discount for two nights.

I spent most of the time catching up on work and then in the afternoon Gilles, the other French cyclist, arrived. We had a few beers and pizza by the pool and then went into town in the evening for some local dinner.

Mikumi to Morogoro

We were up early the next day and headed back onto the road towards Dar Es Salaam. Surprisingly it runs directly through the Mikumi National Park, which has lions, hyenas and elephants, amongst other wild animals. The road is entirely unfenced and was a bit of reminder of Botswana, only this time we saw way more wildlife. There were impala and a buffalo as soon as we entered, followed by multiple giraffe, zebra, elephant and the occasional wildebeest.

After about half an hour we reached a park gate, where we stopped for some breakfast of biscuits and crisps. Along the second half of the ride, we didn’t see nearly as much game and towards the end, it began to rain. I kept my eyes peeled for lions but the rain clearly scared them off.

We stopped again in Doma, mainly to dry off a bit and grab an early lunch. We briefly considered stopping the night here as Morogoro was another 66 km away but in the end, continued on all the way. We soon discovered that this area of Tanzania is very catholic and as such, won’t allow two men to share a motel room in fear that we might be gay. It was mildly amusing until we realized that not only is it discrimination that should be illegal, but now we might have to pay twice as much for accommodation. We had grown accustomed to only spending around $3 a night!

Fortunately, we found a relatively cheap place ($7) which actually had really nice rooms. We checked in and had more chicken and rice with a beer before bed.

Morogoro to Chilenze

In the morning I finished my final work for the month and then we drew some cash and hit the road. It immediately started raining so we stopped after an hour for breakfast of beer soup and chapati again. The rain died down a bit so we continued on, but no sooner had we hit the road and it started again. This continued until lunch time and we tried to again to wait it out but it never ended. Eventually, we knew we would have to continue in it or we wouldn’t make it to Dar by Sunday night.

We pushed on through and finally made it to Chilenze soaking wet. We had a coffee and samosa at a gas station, grabbed some supplies at a supermarket and then found the cheapest lodge we could and got two $5 rooms. The restaurant owner next door decided to become our new best friend and sorted out everything with the lodge as they couldn’t speak English. He then made sure we would return to have dinner with him, which we did.

Unfortunately, the pillow in my room must have had fleas in it and I struggled to sleep, constantly feeling little bites on my neck. I didn’t think much of it at the time and eventually just fell asleep but awoke in the morning covered in bites.

Chilenze to Dar Es Salaam

The final push through to Dar Es Salaam quickly became a very difficult day. After a nice breakfast of beef soup and chapati with our new friend, we began the 100 kms to the capital city. Quite soon the roads became very busy and then we hit construction work that continued all the way into Dar city centre. For the next few hours, we were stuck in heavy, slow-moving traffic along broken half-finished roads.

It was slow going and headache-inducing as the beeping and honking never stopped. We couldn’t even find anywhere decent to stop for lunch and eventually just had some water and biscuits from a shop on a very run-down side street.

Cycling into Dar es Salaam sadly wasn’t the fan-fare event we had hoped for, as we were both too exhausted and frustrated to celebrate. We were, however, exceptionally relieved to arrive at the rather boutique Airbnb that Ash and Jeff had organized. After a shower and nap, we celebrated our achievement with some champagne and beers.

And so concludes my Africa cycle tour – 5,000 kms over four months through seven countries!

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[canaryatlaw]

Well today was overall fine, accomplished enough I suppose and nothing went too terrible. Woke up around 1:30 (bless) which was glorious, ate some cocoa krispies (note: whenever I say I ate breakfast on one of these posts it means I ate cocoa krispies. I always eat cocoa krispies) then got ready and took my little cart thing out and hopped on a bus to make a target trip. There's no route directly there, so I either have to walk a bit east then hop on a bus a bit south, or hop on a bus a bit south and then walk a bit east, lol, and I did the second today. I needed to make the target trip because this week I was actually out of sodastream gas canisters, which are actually what powers my life so I had to get the refills of those, along with a few other random items like, mouthwash. Of course I raided their dollar section (that is really their $3 section at this point, but oh well) and couldn't help but buy like 3 candles and more string lights for my room cuz they're cheap and cute and I don't care, lol. Did some basic food shopping, what I'll need for dinner tonight and the next week or so, and heavy cream if I ever get around to making caramels like I want to at some point. Wandered around the store a bit after that, spent a solid 10 minutes contemplating their underwear selection and trying to decide if I wanted to try something other than the exact brand size and style I've been wearing for like, ten years because everything else rides up and makes me uncomfortable, and ended up deciding to just go with it (for the record, I have tried other stuff over the years, and been unhappy with them). I looked through their pajama selection and really wanted this cute summery set of a gryffindor tank and shorts but it was 98% polyester so there goes that idea. They had a few other things but nothing all that great. I did dare venture over to the clothing section for a few minutes, and got a cute tank top and a pair of sporty leggings that I'm hoping will stay on better while I'm working out (I've noticed lately, mainly when I'm like, in the middle of working out, that whatever sweatpants I'm wearing have a tendency to fall down) then finally headed to check out. Walked a bit back and then had to wait for way too long for the bus but I didn't want another half hour of walk, so I waited. Got home around 5, put my stuff away and started working on the project for about two hours. I was working on perfecting the mission and vision statement as well as working on the portion about future plans for the org. That was hard because like, I want to turn in this plan for this nationwide org with community centers everywhere but like, this is a plan we're making to start a nonprofit lol, not an idea for an already established one, so I had to do some rewriting of my original concept and then think of things to add to the future developments beyond more community centers in different cities. Then I worked on a smaller portion about my experience and how it makes me equipped for the job, which put me just at 11 pages, so not bad. I'm still trying to figure out how I'm gonna handle the actual presentation, cuz like there's very specific parameters set out in the paper for what there needs to be in it, but the presentation is just based on the paper, it doesn't say what exactly, and he's said several times he doesn't want us just reading from a paper, but also saying he doesn't care about PowerPoints or stuff like that- just that we're familiar enough with the material to talk about it confidently and not need to read straight from our notes. So I may make a presentation cheat sheet of major points at some point tomorrow that could be helpful. Basically the presentation is supposed to be us pitching the idea of the nonprofit to potential finders, for them to decide if they would want to fund us or not. I think I have a good amount of info about programs and such set up, I need to do the more technical elements of setting up a board of directors and everything, and actually figure out a budget (which I probably won't include in the presentation but will need for the paper, and God am I not looking forward to doing that) and other tying up factors. But I think I'm in a good spot and I should be able to pull everything together tomorrow for my presentation Monday. At 7 I stopped because I wanted to make dinner. I've been having this issue lately where I'll make my big meal on the weekend but then not want to eat it during the week for whatever reason and end up throwing most of it out which I really had doing, so I thought I'd try to do something I know is good and that I'll want to eat, so I did this cheesy chicken broccoli and rice thing that's fairly easy to make and also tastes way better than you would expect it to lol so hopefully that will do the trick for during the week. After I finished cooking I sat down on my couch to watch some tv, and found out training day had started about 5 minutes prior (it was like, 8:05 at this point). I never keep track of when my shows actually air, so sometimes I'll turn on my tv and find out one of them is actually on). So I caught up on that pretty quickly and watched it. Somewhat of a meh episode for me, not that I didn't like the plot because I did, I think I just missed Katrina Law's character because she was in like, one scene. But that was fine. I didn't have anything else recorded so I went back over to 24:Legacy which I ended up watching for the rest of the night and finishing, and I have to say, by the last 3 episodes I was all in on this in true 24 fashion, finally feeling it like I did with the original show and oh, how I've missed that feeling. It took a while to get there obviously, but it was worth it because those episodes were fantastic. Spoilers ahead, obviously, but I was sad they did end up killing Rebecca, though that much should've been obvious once Sims or whatever his name was did his little speech about after this she would be like a war criminal. But I was sad because I gained so much respect for her character over those episodes, like what a fucking BADASS she is to take on a hostage negotiation like that and just totally call their bluff when he life was on the line, like holy crap she was just killing it. I loved it when her and Eric just went rogue, that finally felt very 24, with its rogue agents receiving unofficial support from CTU. Even Keith (I learned his name and have stopped calling him zoom guy!!!) was pretty awesome in the end of definitely did his part, something not always true for past CTU directors. Of course there was massive incompetence in letting terrorist #1 escape, but that was clearly just because they needed it for the plot, not that it would actually happen like that. I have to talk about the ending with the girl and Eric and Tony though. TONY. My bby. First of all, hearing him utter the words "I have to help CTU" made my little fangirl heart so happy because even after all of this he was going to help them and it just ahhhh <3. With the showdown at the house I was just like, yelling the whole time STOP FIGHTING YOURE FRIENDS YOU JUST DONT KNOW IT so I was pleased when that basically happened lol and of course Tony was like uh yeah of course go take the kid and save Rebecca. This girl though, and Eric protecting her, broke my fucking heart. Like yes, I know, this is all fictional. But that poor little girl. She was so little, so entirely innocent, and treated so horribly by the government that it was abominable. Seeing Eric being so gentle and kind to her was perfect, and that scene where they're waiting for the helicopter and she's telling him about the names of the flowers and the trees had me in like, tears just out of the sheer preciousness of the scene, like, holy crap, it was such a poignant and well done moment that stood out so well from all the violence and terrorism going on around it. I very much enjoyed that, and of course seeing that the girl was in fact safe. They obviously set themselves up for a second season, but I still of course protest to having a 12 episode season of a show called 24 when the entire damn concept is it happens over 24 hours, lol. Also, I freaked out when they time jumped the last 15 minutes because HEY, THAT IS SO AGAINST THE RULES. YOU MADE THE RULES, AND THERE ARENT THAT MANY OF THEM, BUT YOU JUST BROKE A MAJOR RULE AND THATS NOT COOL, MAN. Lol. I'm not sure what to think about John and what he's gonna do now, but it would be interesting to see him as president next season (though tbh I'll just be sad Rebecca isn't there with him because she's just such a badass character I can't help but miss her). But yeah, clearly I had feelings about all of that haha as you can see from all I just ranted. But yeah, I finished that and started getting ready for bed and now it's late and I should go to sleep, so I'm gonna do that now. Church in the morning, then we'll see. Goodnight friends. I hope you sleep well.

[team-skull-admin]

My favorite 40 games of all-time

Made an arbitrary list of my favorite games of all-time cause I wanted to figure out where Breath of the Wild is on it. It’s, uh, pretty high. Assload of text below the break.

40: Castlevania: Aria of Sorrow I'm not the world's biggest Symphony of the Night fan (outside of the incredible soundtrack) and I think this is where Iga's seamless platformers found their footing.

39: Call of Juarez: Gunslinger I love goofy, experimental games like this and Far Cry: Blood Dragon, but I think the schtick in this (an unreliable narrator bragging about their heroic exploits) works better than Blood Dragon's dorky 80s nostalgia.

38: Rayman Origins A beautiful platformer with incredible level design. The music for the diabolical secret level is seared into my memory.

37: Cibele A short, story-centric indie game that captures the essence of playing MMOs in the mid-2000s and long-distance relationships. The awkward conversations in this game made me think about my WoW years for an entire weekend.

36: Mario Kart Wii It's not technically the "best" Mario Kart, but I actually enjoyed the motorcycles and I have fond memories of crushing my brother while we downed beers and talked shit.

35: Guild of Dungeoneering I'm usually not super into "We made X game, but added CARDS!" even though I love card games, but they nailed the loop here. I vaguely remember one of the decks being super busted, though.

34: Tropico 4 Adding a political slant to Sim City by making you the leader of a banana republic was just the slant to that formula I was looking for, and I lost a weekend circa New Year's '13 just delving into this hard.

33: Gran Turismo 2 My brother bought a PS1 off a friend when they upgraded to a PS2, and I grabbed a copy of this cheaply at the local EB Games. Once I wrapped my mind around the simulation, upgrading cars and havin fun with them here might have more to do with me being somewhat of a car person than anything else.

32: Metal Gear Solid 4 I should really put the whole series on here, but MGS4 deserves special note for making the core stealth actually fun and somehow tying all the loose ends of the insane plot together while dialing up the insanity even further.

31: Sim City 2000 I figured out how to make a 50,000 person city when I was like, 8. I still have no fucking idea how I did this. It took me till my 20s to crack 100k.

30: Pokemon Black/White People are torn on this game, but the contentious design decision to hide the old Pokemon in the postgame made every new encounter incredibly exciting in a way the series hadn't been since the orignals. The writing also shows signs of the maturity that Sun/Moon would follow through with.

29: Dragon Warrior Monsters 2 I think most would deride this series as a soulless Pokemon cash-grab on the surface, but they're actually roguelikes with a crazy monster breeding system and the most rote of stories to get you into the core loop of exploring new keys to breed ever crazier monsters.

28: Diablo 3: Reaper of Souls Diablo 3 vanilla's reliance on the auction house created design issues that were hard to look past, but Blizzard abandoning it for the expansion made the game into an incredible dungeon crawler. I never laddered, but had fun for hundreds of hours chasing loot with friends.

27: Fallout 3 I'll never forget the feeling of walking out of the vault for the first time, and feeling like I could go anywhere. I also think this is the only Bethesda game that regularly pays off when exploring - weird shit like the Republic of Dave or the man stuck in the tree are fantastic rewards for poking at the less inhabited edges of the map.

26: Bassin's Black Bass featuring Hank Parker I'm honestly wondering if the rest of the world has picked up on this game's low-key genius since I saw it for 15 bucks at a retro game store recently, but this game's arcadey fishing is incredibly satisfying and snappy. It has some major, obvious, irritating mechanical issues, but the core gameplay loop is so good I don't care.

25: Middle Earth: Shadow of Mordor I still remember my nemesis. This motherfucker was right at the beginning of the game, inside the first quest area, and was like level 5 or 6, but had a defensive ability that made it harder for me to gank him easily. So he killed me. Twice. And leveled up each time, becoming a level 12 badass who could literally sniff me out when I hid. But he was weak to fire, and I lured him to a campfire and set him ablaze, getting my revenge.

24: Super Metroid I feel like most people would have this game higher on the list, but I think the controls are floaty and Meridia is overly confusing. The rest of the game is incredible and I can't believe they pulled it off on a Super Nintendo.

23: Pokemon Sun/Moon After XY and ORAS were disapointments I was cool on Pokemon, but Sun/Moon challenged a ton of series conventions and got a lot right in the process. I can't believe how deftly this game handles dysfunctional families.

22: A Link Between Worlds This was Nintendo's hit at what was to come with Zelda - a smart, experimental take on the franchise that's easily its best 2d outing.

21: Muramasa: The Demon Blade Vanillaware's magnum opus, a gorgeous Metroidvania where everything is hand-painted. The combat's loop of mixing launchers with sword management is also incredibly fun, if not particularly deep. But fuck I loved looking at it so much and it felt good.

20: The Walking Dead Only time a video game made me cry.

19: Banjo-Kazooie The only 3d collect-a-thon platformer from that era that still holds up, it combines cheeky humor and an incredible soundtrack to craft a world that's always surprising.

18: Borderlands 2 is better crafted, but I enjoyed the dry wit and more grounded guns of the first. I've replayed this like 4 times and I'm not entirely sure why, but I have a blast each time.

17: Doom (2016) Apparently the secret to making this license work in a modern context is to give Halo combat arenas a healthy dose of cocaine and play Meshuggah riffs over it. It so fucking works.

16: Saints Row: The Third I think the writing in GTA is usually sophomoric at best and its attempts at commentary are eye-roll worthy, but having a game say "FUCK IT" and just Mel Brooks that experience is such a wonderful idea. It's also hard to pull off, and SR3 totally sticks the landing (unlike the sequel).

15: Super Mario World The best traditional Mario game. I replayed it recently, and it struck me how much secret exits add to the level design versus 3, and how freed Koji Kondo is by the new hardware. The castle music's classical overture sticks out.

14: Monster Hunter 4 I liked Monster Hunter 3's various iterations but I hated swimming. Taking out swimming and replacing it  with mounting was enough for me to sink hundreds of hours. I actively avoided getting Generations because I knew it would interfere with school.

13: Mario Golf (GBC) The perfect portable game. Golf works well on the platform, and adding basic RPG hooks was enough to make a rote story totally engaging.

12: Super Mario Maker I think the real triumph of Mario Maker isn't the levels (which are usually terrible), it's how Nintendo imparted the feeling of being creative in such an easily digestible and satisfying way. It's an achievement that ascends past Mario design (which still works here) into something greater and more profound.

11: Hearthstone I fucking hate this game and I keep playing it because the Arena is like literal fucking crack and every time I have an opponent at 1 life and they beat me they can eat fucking dicks.

10: Super Mario RPG Clever writing and a strange world grabbed me way harder than Intelligent System's later Paper Mario games. It's too easy and doesn't look as slick now, but the writing still holds up.

09: Mass Effect Trilogy You can't really separate these, as the experience that makes Mass Effect great was carrying your Shepard and their decisions from one game to the next. Everyone will remember Garrus, Wrex, and co. Shame about the ending.

08: Tetris I am weirdly good at Tetris. I know what a T-Spin is. I sank hundreds of hours into it on Facebook. I don't regret it.

07: Persona 4 Describe a game to me as a mix of a J-RPG and a slice-of-life anime and I'll run to the hills, so the fact this game's sharp, mature writing and "just one more day" calendar mechanic combined into one of my favorite games of all-time is a shock. They also put in Pokemon with fucking demons, how cool is that shit?

06: Ocarina of Time I can't believe this game came out in 1998. The world is still fun to traverse, and the dungeon design (especially as an adult) still holds up at the top of action-adventure puzzle design.

05: Magic: the Gathering I wish it was less expensive otherwise it'd be higher.

04: Breath of the Wild I can't believe Nintendo reinvented the wheel so well that I'm putting the game so high on the list. Every design decision in this game is carefully considered to make exploring this iteration of Hyrule that much more satisfying. And its incredibly clever chemistry engine, where every object in the game has chemical properties that can be manipulated as well as physics, creates a ton of emergent gameplay scenarios where you're constantly asking "Can I do that?" and the game almost never lets you down.

03: World of Warcraft Sometimes I regret the 4000 hours I spent in Azeroth, but I'd have a hard time giving up the friends I made there. I could probably shred and like, speak another language though.

02: Pokemon Red I was the perfect age for Pokemon mania, and the fact that the core game was literally designed to appeal to me didn't help. I still love collecting the things and min/maxing ways to beat the Elite 4 with minimal grinding.

01: Mega Man X I think this is literally the perfect platformer. Moving X feels incredible. There's nothing in any of the levels I think is out of place. The soundtrack is a masterpiece. And the game's hidden secret is so insane you'd probably call bullshit on any kid who told it to you at recess. I'm really glad the rest of the world picked up on it after Arin Hanson did a Sequelitis about it, because I've been beating this drum for decades.

[petitegoose]

Sorry it’s so long, but very important.

Weekend update: Mixed Feelings

Friday::

The original plan was that my dad would be in around 5 or 5:30PM. We had plans to go to The Harris Grill for dinner, then come back to the house and watch the Penguins game. I was really excited about it, but then he had car trouble and didn’t end up coming in until 7:30. We still could’ve gone to dinner..That’s when he eats dinner anyway! But he refused to take me and instead asked my mom to order him a nasty pizza from this place around the block, which, as I warned him, he didn’t even like.

Saturday::

So I had pretty mixed feelings about Saturday because I spent almost the entire day with my daddy. Let’s just say it did not start out on a good note. He came by my house at 10AM to wake me up, and once he did, he let me get myself up and ready to go. He sat in the living room with my mom, only two rooms away from my bedroom with only my bedroom door in between, and I had the door open. So, as I’m sitting there, taking my Suboxone and putting my hair back, I can hear my parents just sitting in the living room talking shit about me. So that started me off in a pretty foul mood. My mom was just telling him all kinds of shit that she had no fucking business telling him, which she admitted and agreed to and apologized for after the fact, but at the time it just started my morning out bad.

But when my dad and I left, we took separate cars because my car had an appointment at Pep Boys. It reached 50,000 miles and needed some routine maintenance. New front breaks, new windshield wipers, oil change, stuff like that. So we dropped my car off, and we were going to go into Shadyside for breakfast and to buy my new laptop, finally, but I also needed to get my piss test that day and I wanted to make sure I could get that done too, so I checked the labs and what their hours were. As it turned out, there was only Quest in the entire city that even HAD Saturday hours, and they closed at 12. Well, it was going to be 11 by the time we got there, if we skipped breakfast and went straight there. So we did that. We got there a few minutes past 11 and the place was jammed. There were a bunch of people before me, and I had just chugged a ton of water so that I would be able to pee right away when we got there…So I really, REALLY had to go. And, to make matters worse, there were supposed to be two people working, but one of them called out at the last minute so there was only one person even working. Fortunately, most of the people in the waiting room were being really nice and chatty, and on the way in I saw one of the people I met last time I was at the Suboxone clinic and she remembered me so I tried to stop and say hey and be friendly with her, but my dad was being a major jackass the whole time we were there so that made it even more unenjoyable. But after waiting through several people who were clearly doing more than peeing in a cup, I couldn’t take it anymore and I was about to piss myself, so the woman whose name got called to go next told the woman to just let me do my do my piss test and she would wait and go after that. I was very grateful.

So once I was done there, my dad & I went to Pamela’s for breakfast. I had my usual. Chocolate chip hotcakes, and a side of their famous potatoes. My dad, of course, did not approve. He thinks I’m too fat to be eating like that, even though I hadn’t, until yesterday, kept down a single meal in 6 days, so I really didn’t see what difference it made. So after breakfast, we went across the street to the Apple Store and bought my beautiful new 13” Macbook Pro. That was DEFINITELY the highlight of the day. Hell, the highlight of the fucking year. This thing is fucking AMAZING. I mean, it’s VERY different from my 15” 2009 Macbook Pro, so it’s definitely gonna take some getting used to, but I love it. And I can play the Sims 4 on it, which is amazing. Sadie is gonna be so excited!

For dinner we went to Applebees. It was so good.

Sunday::

We were supposed to go to Bado’s for brunch but my dad decided at the last minute not to. So he took me to the Square Cafe instead. It was okay, but I’d definitely have preferred Bado’s. At least I got to surprise my mom and Emily with cupcakes from Vanilla.

But after that, things went really bad between me and my daddy. He started making all these comments about how much and what I eat, and how much I weigh, and how enormous I am, and at one point I was like, “Well, I can’t just live on salads!” And he was like, “Well, it might not be a bad idea at this point.” ………..Completely triggering for my eating disorder. And he has been told not only by myself, but by every single therapist, psychiatrist, and rehab center I’ve been to, so this is more than 30 people telling him this, that it is 100% harmful for him to make comments about food and weight and such with me. That if I need his help in that area, I will ask him, and then he can give his opinion. But if I don’t ask, he needs to keep his mouth shut. But he just won’t do it. And he just keeps hurting me. And yes, I’ve gained a TON of weight since I got off drugs, a TON. So much, that I no longer have ANY clothing that fits me. In fact, until the weekend before last, I didn’t even have a fucking BRA. But my mom took me to Macy’s and it took us a long time, but we finally found me 3 bras that fit. And they're NOT cute, but I had no choice because I was lucky to get a bra at all, considering the size above mine was the biggest they even carried in stores. So that whole experience was completely depressing and mortifying. I can’t even shop for clothing at a regular clothing store anymore. Not at this weight. Now, I would have to shop at places like Lane Bryant or Torrid. And when I told my dad that I needed a few new outfits that fit me in my new size, until I am able to lose the 40 lbs I will need to lose in order to fit into any of the clothing I currently own (aside from a couple pairs of yoga pants a couple of hoodies), because even though I am working hard to lose the weight WITHOUT purging, and am losing it a little at a time, that is way too much to lose in a reasonable period of time, he went off on me. He refused to let me get even one outfit because having clothes that fit would deter me from wanting to lose the weight. Then, when we talked about it more, he made me feel even worse about myself and my body, and we were on the phone and he was berating me and literally screaming at me and he sent me into a full blown panic attack. It was one of the worst ones I’ve had in years. I took two xanax immediately, but they didn’t kick in fast enough and I started to dissociate. I ended up cutting myself so badly that I actually needed stitches but refused to get them so it ended up with the wounds just getting cleaned out and bandaged. I haven’t spoken to my father since.

When my mom got home and saw all the blood everywhere (and I mean everywhere…..it was pooled all over the floor, all over me, my bed, everywhere) she freaked out. Once I was back in my body enough to talk to her and explain what was going on, she felt really terrible about cruel my dad was being to me. She’s really poor, and he’s really rich, but she didn’t want me to suffer the way I am, so she made a deal with me that she would put in $120, and I would put in $150 so that I could get a couple of outfits that fit. I’m excited for them to come so that I can start trying to look as presentable as possible for someone as big as I am.

So then Emily came over for a while. We finally got to talk about the stuff we needed to talk about. But then we talked about some other stuff that’s really scary that’s going on right now, and I got really hysterical, and I was just clinging to her and she just held me for like a half hour before she had to leave.